So far, this is what I've got:

Don't I look adorably prepubescent even with hair on my face? Oh, the irony that is my life.
Please let it be known that I will also continue to make that sour expression until I get an interview, with a brief lapse on Saturday night, when I'm drunk for my birthday (to be followed by me being drunk and crying because I'll be 24).
I see only two ways this plan could fail. I will either get really tired of having facial hair, as it feels weird and looks rather stupid, or I will go so long without an interview that my beard will actually grow in and be acceptable for an interview.
Who wants to place bets on which of the three will happen first?