Lunchtime Poll: Do you ever hear voices in your head?

Today's poll topic comes courtesy of Christina "WHY DON'T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" (That never gets old! NEVER!) Boucher, who, by the way, told me that my blog primarily consists of things I hear her say. (Is this too meta for you, Christina? Am I blowing your mind?) ANYWAY, I really like this topic because it's something I've thought about (lie) and have an answer for (the god's-honest-truth).

If you're like me, you were a very jealous and bitter child who grew up in the early '90s not understanding why Kevin Arnold was lucky enough to have Daniel Stern narrate his life on The Wonder Years. It just wasn't fair, I thought, that I didn't have a distinctive voice in my head explaining to an audience what I was always thinking. (I'm dead-serious here. I was the kind of kid who kept journals full of LIES, expecting someday that I'd be famous and someone would want to publish my juvenilia.)

So, if you're like me, you've thought of a celebrity who you'd want to narrate your life. I picked the Academy Award-winning star of Kindergarten Cop*, Linda Hunt:
Who would you pick, and why?






*Sadly, Linda Hunt did not win for Kindergarten Cop.

Afternoon Poll: What's your favorite '90s album?

Sorry, guys. There was some messiness this morning at work and I spent my lunchbreak trying to secure a new job, so I didn't have time to post a question the entire Internet (the whole thing - every goddamn one of you) could ponder over. So here we go!

It's March, which is the month that I a. thank God for, since Feburary is over, and b. spend a lot of time not paying attention to college basketball. Lucky for me, the music bloggers over at Merry Swankster have made this month more interesting, if only for me (and for Adam, who I somehow convinced to give a shit). They're having their own version of March Madness, but it's involving the best albums of the '90s. Who'll win? Radiohead, obvs., but I'm hoping Neutral Milk Hotel and The Magnetic Fields at least make it in the Final Four.

Anyway, when you're done checking out the brackets and setting up pools and waging lots and lots of money on the albums that, if you're like me, were too young to listen to when they were released, leave a comment HERE and tell me about your favorite album (or albums) from the '90s! Here are my picks:

Exile In Guyville (Duh.)
In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
I See A Darkness
69 Love Songs
Whip-Smart
Moon Pix
Come On Feel The Lemonheads
Automatic For The People
Le Tigre

Lunchtime Poll: Tell me about your co-workers.

I didn't forget to post a poll topic yesterday. The truth is that I couldn't think of anything to ask about. Well, anything other than, "What should I do with my life?" No one seems to be interested in answering that one for me, so I figured I'd give you guys a break.

Anyway, this one comes from Megan and her office mates, who had the following conundrum:

Who pisses you off more - the people you work for, or the people you work with?

I really hope Megan's co-workers get the opportunity to leave a few comments, too, but leaving Megan's name out of it, of course.

Lunchtime Poll: Do you hate hipsters?

A few days ago Morgan and I were chatting online about how goddamn popular her blog is (it getting national press coverage and such). She had complained about getting negative comments on her posts making fun of the pictures she uploaded. (I went back and checked the post featuring my picture. No comments at all!) She said to me, "Why do people hate hipsters?"

I think there are many different level of hipsters. There are the kind who just wear clothes they find comfortable and attractive and listen to music they enjoy. And then there are the kind featured on Blue States Lose and Team Party Crash (way to go, DC brethren) who do, indeed, suck. These are the people I'm totally not interested in (even though ONCE I went to a Blue State Lose-worthy party in Wicker Park and I am NOT proud and punished myself by looking through many, many gross pictures to find this one, where at least my hair looks good. Also notice that I'm wearing pants in said picture).

Also, there are the kind of hipsters (read: rich white hipsters) who move to poor neighborhoods to escape gentrification, and then bitch five years later when their suddenly rich, white, hip neighborhoods are forcing out the poor minorities. In Chicago, see Wicker Park, Bucktown, Ukranian Village, Pilsen. New York: see Williamsburg.

Also, there's American Apparel.

So, readers, let me know your thoughts. Are you a hipster? Do you hate hipsters? Aren't, like, The Shins totes three years ago? Let me know!

Lunchtime Poll: Do you like to hook up, y/n?

Kristin and I have discovered (really it was Kristin and someone else who brought this to my attention, but this is my blog and I'm the one taking an informal Internet poll here), being so East Coast and all, that people in the Midwest seem to have a different definition of "hooking up." When I was in college, "hooking up" could mean a variety of things ranging from "making out on her roommate's pile of laundry" to "I sure hope JMU doesn't stop handing out the emergency contraceptive pill because I might be preggers." Turns out that people from the Midwest (well, the two that we asked) claim that hooking up means sex. Doing it. Going all the way. Hand jobs don't count as hooking up in Illinois, apparently.

So, here's what I'm asking from everyone who reads this: please leave a comment and tell me what you think hooking up means. Can it just mean fondling? Does it have to define actual sex? (I assume some sort of penetration is the definition of sex. We can discuss that at a later date.) (Oh, God, my brother reads my blog and he's going to see that I used the word "penetration.") And, in your comment, let me know where you're from: the East Coast, the Midwest, Pacific Northwest, Texas, etc. I won't even get offended if you leave anonymous comments. I'm just very curious.

Also, if you're from the Midwest and you enjoy making out, please let me know. I'm not going to proposition you or anything (although I was Make Out King my senior year of college. I have a plaque to prove it); it seems like the two Midwesterners we "polled" were also not fans of making out, which is something that Kristin and I just DON'T GET.