I over analyze pop music.

One of my biggest pet-peeves is when bloggers post some funny thing they said and expect the entire Internet to find it equally hilarious.

Well, I'm about to do that. Yesterday, I said (and I'm paraphrasing):

"'Umbrella' really cannot rival Gwen Stefani's 'Hollaback Girl.' I think it's a better song, but Gwen really provided a public service in the sense that everyone now knows how to spell 'banana' correctly. All Rihanna did was incite the constant, and obnoxious, repetition of 'ella, ella.'"

This is on par with the paper I wrote comparing William Styron's Lie Down in Darkness to Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury, the title of which came from the refrain of my favorite Ashlee Simpson song. It was an achievement that was truly underappreciated by everyone I know.

HATE.

I called my mom last night because, you know, I was having a rough day. And this exchange took place.

"I swear to God, Mom. I will punch the next nineteen year old I see with a Blackberry."

"Oh, Tyler, now why would that make you upset? That's a silly thing to get aggravated about."

Clearly my mother doesn't get it, so I had to make her understand.

"Mom, I'm against Blackberries in general. I don't think anyone needs one, much less a college student."

"Well, I'm sure their parents buy them for them."

"Exactly, mom. Remember when I was in first grade and [Name redacted]'s got BOOKS from the Tooth Fairy and I was upset when I found out because the Tooth Fairy only brought me fifty cents for each tooth? Do you remember how mad you were?"

"YES. I hated that. It was almost as bad as when divorced parents had Santa Claus come TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. Ugh. Did they think their kids wouldn't come to school and brag, 'Santa came to my house twice!'"

That's how I feel about people my age with Blackberries.