It's raining irony.

I'm supposed to get a check today from my boss. A bonus. A real bonus. Extra money for all that hard work I (used to) do. It's all going to my Visa bill, which is still three times the amount of my bonus, but still, it's nice to feel like my hard work sort of paid off.

I'm sure I'll hate this job again by tomorrow morning.

Also, I'm not wearing socks today.

In other news, I still don't have a cell phone because Kristel sent it to my old address. I'm not mad, because I should have double-checked to make sure she had my current address. I also shouldn't have left it on her porch. Even though I credit myself for the phone-less disaster, I still managed to get angry at my mother on Friday when I realized I wouldn't get the phone until Monday. Last week, I found a new phone online that I want, and since we can upgrade my account, I emailed her the link on the AT&T website. She replied, "It's a nice phone, I'll order it next week." So, on Friday, I had no phone, and the first person I wanted to call and bitch to was my mother for not ordering me a new phone. This, I think, is a pretty good example of the type of relationship I have with her. It's much easier to blame her for things I did than blame myself.

I think I'm learning a lot about myself lately.

I learned that I cannot just live my life without regard for how I make other people feel. Coincidentally, I gave up on Atlas Shrugged because OMG BO-RING. I picked up This Book Will Save Your Life by A. M. Homes on Thursday and read over one hundred pages in one sitting. I thought, "So this is what it's like to be able to read a book and enjoy it?" Ayn Rand had the power to make me pass out after an hour's worth of reading (in which I would probably get through maybe twenty pages, only if they happened to be dealing with Dagney's longing for rough sex). I finished Homes's book yesterday and I liked it a lot; it was the direct anti-thesis of anything Rand ever wrote: it's about a wealthy man who realizes he's not ALIVE and starts to live by doing things for other people. Redemption through good samaritanism (which, my buddy Spell Check, SHOULD be a word).

I was in my neighborhood Borders on Saturday and Notes on a Scandal was in the It's Gay Pride Month!!! display. I'm sure all of the lesbians are thrilled.

One of my pictures is featured this week on Gapers Block. Check it out!