My cheeks are sore from smiling.

On Sunday I went to the Gay Pride Parade, which was generally uneventful save for one leather thong (which, by the way, was on a very old man with the saggiest ass I've ever seen. I didn't know they could look like that. It looked like two empty pillowcases dipped in self-tanner) and a few make-shift pasties worn by the ladies on the NOW float. I was surprised how corporate the parade was; there was a Chipotle float, a Jewel / Osco float. There were even several beer companies who just had someone drive their trucks along the parade route with a couple of rainbows taped to the sides. Alissa complained the entire time that there was a large lack of Ds in relation to previous years. The only one I saw was rubber and shoved in my face after the parade; some man, upon seeing my shirt, spoke into his dildo as if it were a microphone and asked, "'Promises, Promises?' What kind of promises do you make?" I replied, "Um, none to you."

Afterward I met up with Couch and we went to Berlin for the DJ set by Men, former Le Tigre members JD Samson and Johanna Fateman. They started late (at six) and Couch left me by my lonesome, but it was actually still pretty fun because I just danced around by myself and drank a lot of Miller Lites. (So many, in fact, that I lost count. They were two dollars and I'm estimating I spent forty.) To make that long story short, I was at Berlin for nearly eight hours. John and Leah stopped in for a bit and that was fun, especially since we were dancing right next to JD and two of the girls from Office. I had had enough beer to say, "Fuck it," and I talked to the tambourine player, who was really excited that I recognized her. Likewise for the drummer, who shared a cigarette with me and kissed me on the cheek. And then I was like, "I am going to dance with JD Samson. I don't care if I have to push eight lesbians out of the way." And I did dance with her, and she pretended to stab me with a plastic sword. It was pretty awesome. And when she left about an hour later, she waved goodbye to me, and I stopped her and told her that Le Tigre was the first show I had the courage to see alone (as well as my first show in Chicago) and how much I loved the band.

I wasn't really hungover on Monday but I called in sick anyway, since my body was really, really sore from dancing for seven hours. My cousin was also in town, and he'd been calling me all weekend but I kept missing him, so I met him downtown at the Art Institute and then we went to lunch. My cousin is my mom's age, and he's the type of guy who calls people "cats" and places "joints" with absolute sincerity. He's also an artist, so it was fun to go to the museum with him and watch him freak out at seeing really famous pieces.

On Monday night I went to iO to see Christina perform her first improv show. She was really funny and her group did very well together (much better than the other groups, who made me want to die), and it was really exciting to see her performing again. Unfortunately, she was too funny and her body couldn't handle it: she woke me up at five yesterday morning in tears because she had severe abdominal pain. We hopped in a cab and went to the hospital, where we spent the next seven hours. She's better now, which is all I've been allowed to say. She also instructed me to start referring to her as Mary Stuart Masterson in this blog, but she was on morphine at the time, so I'm not sure I actually have to do that.

After a quick and sexy nap, I had Kristin and friends Tony and Gary come over so I could take their headshots. I'm not sure if they are any good because it was dark outside and my camera kind of sucks, but they only need them for auditions at the Second City Conservatory, so they might do okay. It was kind of fun, though, and even if they aren't the best headshots, I think the pictures turned out well. Then we drank some 312 (which was my payment) and Kristin, Tony, and I went to Funky Buddha for a DJ set by Peaches, which was also a lot of fun. I danced very much and lost my shit when she played "Lip Gloss." She ended her set by getting on stage and singing "Lovertits," and I was pretty damn happy when we left at two in the morning.

And now I'm tired. But! I made it work! And EARLY! And the rest of the week isn't so bad, considering we're leaving today at three to go to the Disco Picnic, tomorrow I spend the afternoon in a training session in which I don't need to pay attention, and Friday is the first day I get to take advantage of our summer schedule by leaving at noon. And I got my bonus check, finally.

Things are going pretty swell right now.