Gray hairs or urine stains?

Today is my brother's 18th birthday, which I'm going to turn into my own neurotic event as I am wont to do.

Last night I was talking to a friend on GChat and he was complaining about noticing a lot more gray hairs when he was in the Gap fitting room, and how that added to his obsession with getting older. I told him to calm down because he's only 25 and, really, that's young.

And then this morning I was doing my weekly shave (I have another interview today) under the bright lights in my bathroom, and I noticed a lot of gray hairs. Like, a lot more than the two I've had in my bangs for a year. There were a lot of them. A lot a lot.

Oh god, my little brother is 18 and in college and I'm turning 24 in less than a month fuck fuck fuck.

Turning 24 wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't one of those pointless birthdays. It's like 23 but worse, obviously, because you start to notice those gray hairs and that you've finally started to look like you're older than 21 because of those years spent getting drunk two nights in a row and smoking entire packs of cigarettes. (At least at 25 you can rent a car without spending extra money on insurance.)

Anyway, as I also talked to my brother last night on GChat, I felt pretty old. It was six years ago that I went to college and was dealing with the stuff he's going through (although my roommate never got drunk and pissed on the carpet; I think my freshman roommate, Fuckhead Dickens ("Yeah, I think I'm related to that writer guy."), stayed in on the first day of classes). I remember also being overwhelmed by all the drinking and the pot-smoking, and it took me quite a while to get comfortable at college. And I'm really glad I don't have to go through all of that again, especially since I feel like I'm finally getting comfortable after college.

I guess my point here is that someday, David, your gray hairs are going to be more stressful than your roommate peeing on your stuff.