If the summer is over, why am I still sweating?

I hope everyone had a great Labor Day, as I did not. I was busy sleeping all day, which was part of my recuperation from either a brief Flu or a brief food poisoning. All I know is that on Saturday night I threw up a lot and pickles came out of my nose, and it was the first time in ten years I had thrown up when I wasn't drunk, and I honestly have a new found appreciation for alcohol-induced vomiting. Seriously, when you're sober you can't feel good at all. Your nose burns from the food, and you just stare at the TOILET INTO WHICH YOU ARE PUKING.

The worse thing about this, obvs., was that I did not get to celebrate Labor Day by wearing white jeans. Instead, I watched Malcolm X, which is the total opposite of White Jeans, but also really good.

Anyway, I don't have much else to say, so I'm going to spare you my thoughts on vomit and leave with these scatterbrained ones:

Adam is on vacation all week and, FUCK, who am I going to annoy at work?

My mother emailed me this weekend to tell me that John Waters is coming to speak at David's university. I think she thinks I like John Waters more than I actually like him, and for no reason at all, really. I said, "I'm not that big of a fan. I've never seen Pink Flamingos or anything." She replied, "What's Pink Flamingos?"

Kristin had a birthday party this weekend and this happened:


Tomorrow is the first day of classes at my university, so I have a few thousand more reasons to hate my job. And they are all business majors.

And with that, it's time to call about those jobs I'm still waiting to hear from. Gah.