I am in an abusive relationship with the man who makes my sandwiches at Au Bon Pain.

Okay, I know. White people like paying a lot of money for sandwiches.

Well, I don't necessarily like it, but I do it. A lot. I don't know why, exactly. I think mostly because there's an Au Bon Pain in the building next to mine, and it's connected by a bridge, which means I can go to lunch without walking outside in the cold. And we all know how lazy I am. I am so lazy, in fact, that I will willingly and repeatedly make the same mistake of getting my lunch from Au Bon Pain.

I've written about this place before - remember when Megan went on a crusade against their soup choices? Well, now I want to enlist.

I go there a couple of times a week and the same guy makes my sandwich. It's always a disappointing sandwich, considering that it costs seven dollars and forty-two cents (with a Pepsi and a bag of Baked Lays, which we all know really means half a bag of Baked Lays). I think the sandwich-maker is becoming increasingly fed up with his place of employment as much as I am. On Monday, he forgot to put lettuce on my sandwich, which is pretty unforgivable since the only thing I order for my sandwich is chicken, mozzarella, and lettuce. So, in essence, he gave me a chicken and cheese sandwich.

Today, however, he did not forget the lettuce. To wit:


The man gave me more lettuce than sandwich.

He has clearly given up on me and Au Bon Pain. Unfortunately, I have a feeling I'll go back before the end of the week. After all, it's the only place in the vicinity where I can buy Baked Lays.

An open letter to Au Bon Pain.

Megan is a vegetarian and her low intake of protein makes her extremely angry. She shared with me this email she sent to Au Bon Pain this morning about their paltry offerings of vegetarian soups. I think it's pretty funny and I don't have anything to talk about, so here it is.

To whom it may concern:

Why do the majority of your soups contain a meat base? I realize that for the season there are two soups, one vegetarian (the pumpkin) and one vegan (the carrot) available for non-meat eaters every day, but beyond those two options, you rarely offer alternatives for strict vegetarians. Many of your soups are vegetable in nature (kale or tomato rice), but have a beef or chicken base. Do you know many carnivores who would choose a kale soup? My guess is that a kale soup would attract the attention of a vegan or strict vegetarian who would be unable to eat the soup because of its meat base. There are many meat options on the soup menu on a regular basis, but only those two vegetarian options are consistent. And to be perfectly honest, your carrot soup tastes like a bowl of orange juice with carrot grated into it.

I realize that vegans or strict vegetarians probably comprise a very small demographic within your customer base, and I'm also aware that chicken and beef broth provide more flavor to soups than vegetable broth does. But by making slightly less tasty soups (or exploring other ingredient options that would expand the flavor of vegetarian soups) and marketing them as such, my guess is you could drive up the vegetarian demographic within your customer base and provide more options for your soup customers, who are undoubtedly usually seeking a more nutritious alternative to your not-particularly-nutritious sandwich options.

Thank you,
Megan

P.S. Macaroni and cheese doesn't count as soup.

Personally, I think she should have closed by saying their name is pretentious.