Forbidden Love

Last night I met up with Chris and Maura. I had never met Maura before, but we've been reading each others' blogs for about a year and I was excited to see her during her trip to Chicago. We had "martinis" (mine was gin, ginger ale, and lime juice in a martini glass - on special!) and talked about stories we already knew because we BLOG. But she did tell me this amazing story that blew my mind. And Megan's, as you shall now see, because I'm obsessed with screen caps and iChat:

Odds & Ends

Until last night, I had not bought a pack of cigarettes all year. I smoked one last weekend, but it was the first I'd had in over a month. For some reason (read: beer), I really wanted one last night. I got off the train at Bryn Mawr a little after midnight and said to myself, "No. You are not going to buy cigarettes." And then I stepped out of the station and discovered a wad of bills on the ground. The street was completely deserted and silent (of COURSE I looked around), and I picked them up. Eight dollars! I felt like it was a sign. I went right into Walgreens and bought a pack of Parliament lights. And I smoked one and immediately regretted it. It wasn't even enjoyable! So I do not resent my desire to quit, and I think that'll be the last cigarette I have for a long time. Unfortunately, I now have nineteen more to get rid of. Any takers?

The Ice Storm is now on Criterion Collection. What a brilliant way to talk about how it's the first day of Spring and Chicago is expecting six inches of snow tonight! Hurrah!



I already own The Ice Storm on VHS and DVD, but it's Criterion! And one of my favorites! (I have a problem.)

Finally, if you apply for an internship at Megan's company, she will make fun of you and then lock you in the stairwell:

Megan: also, we're testing the intern (the one i didn't like) for a full time job
Megan: oh i told you that
Megan: i'm grading his test now
me: wait, the hot guy?
Megan: yeah
me: you don't like him?
Megan: hottish. hot in a short, jewish way. he looked much hotter in his facebook pictures
Megan: no, he made me very uncomfortable
me: hahaha
Megan: and i locked him in the stairwell four times accidentally. he probably holds it against me
me: FOUR times?
Megan: yes
Megan: well he kept coming up the stairs in the morning, but the doors are all locked
Megan: and he'd leave a message on my office phone
Megan: but i don't check my messages ever!
Megan: so, he would be in there until i realized he was missing
Megan: it took 20 minutes once
me: jesus, megan.

Megan and I are terrible people.

If you apply for an internship at Megan's company, she will most likely make fun of you.

Megan: you know what i've decided?
Megan: foreign language majors shouldn't look for internship that don't require foreign languages
Megan: because if your only distinguishing skill is spanish? you're not very special
Megan: and if you say you're in a sorority
Megan: I'M GOING TO DELETE YOUR RESUME
me: i fully support you on that.
Megan: hahahaha
Megan: i feel like this is my one chance to really stick it people like that. even if they have no idea who i am
me: or even know at all.
Megan: exactly
Megan: i did write one girl back to tell her that her resume was too long
Megan: it's five pages, tyler
me: hahahahahahaha
Megan: tyler, this guy wrote that his "skills and abilities" include: Cataloguing and Pricing Rare Books
me: i wish i got to look at resumes all day
Megan: it's the best part of my day, i love it.
Megan: under "language": Italian- Intermediate, English- Mother tongue
me: sigh.
Megan: nobody cares where you studied abroad either. i know you think it makes you fancy. but everyone went to europe in college.
Megan: "Public Relations, MOEF GA GA, Lloret de Mar, Spain, summer 2007.
Talking to thousands of tourists, and bringing them to my disco with a minimum of ten tourists a night. Responsible for knowing the special deals of each night and be able to explain it in at least five languages."
Megan: tyler, i'm going to start crying i'm laughing so hard
me: i'm tempted to put ads on craigslist now just to read the resumes
Megan: i'm totally going to test this guy. let's see what disco-customer-sleuthing does for your editorial skills.
Megan: "I hereby apply to be considered for position with your organization. I am studying for the Master of Science in Journalism at Florida A&M University.My concentration is in print journalism."
me: "with sound mind, i want to state my desire to work for your company."
Megan: i hereby delete your resume
Megan: bwahaha

An open letter to Au Bon Pain.

Megan is a vegetarian and her low intake of protein makes her extremely angry. She shared with me this email she sent to Au Bon Pain this morning about their paltry offerings of vegetarian soups. I think it's pretty funny and I don't have anything to talk about, so here it is.

To whom it may concern:

Why do the majority of your soups contain a meat base? I realize that for the season there are two soups, one vegetarian (the pumpkin) and one vegan (the carrot) available for non-meat eaters every day, but beyond those two options, you rarely offer alternatives for strict vegetarians. Many of your soups are vegetable in nature (kale or tomato rice), but have a beef or chicken base. Do you know many carnivores who would choose a kale soup? My guess is that a kale soup would attract the attention of a vegan or strict vegetarian who would be unable to eat the soup because of its meat base. There are many meat options on the soup menu on a regular basis, but only those two vegetarian options are consistent. And to be perfectly honest, your carrot soup tastes like a bowl of orange juice with carrot grated into it.

I realize that vegans or strict vegetarians probably comprise a very small demographic within your customer base, and I'm also aware that chicken and beef broth provide more flavor to soups than vegetable broth does. But by making slightly less tasty soups (or exploring other ingredient options that would expand the flavor of vegetarian soups) and marketing them as such, my guess is you could drive up the vegetarian demographic within your customer base and provide more options for your soup customers, who are undoubtedly usually seeking a more nutritious alternative to your not-particularly-nutritious sandwich options.

Thank you,
Megan

P.S. Macaroni and cheese doesn't count as soup.

Personally, I think she should have closed by saying their name is pretentious.