I wonder why I look so nervous...

Alissa, Katy, Justin, Caroline, me, and Adam at Caroline's baptism reception.

Sweet Caroline

Last night I went to visit Justin, Katy, and CAROLINE for the first time since Caroline's birth three weeks ago. She'd gotten a little bigger and was no longer hooked up to machines in the ICU and was thus less intimidating. OR SO I THOUGHT. She was happy to see me for about two minutes before she decided she was going to have NONE OF IT. She then screamed off an on for about an hour. And pooped.

Justin was telling me how being a dad is kind of like when people ask you "how it feels" to be another year older: it's not much different than before, only now you have a pet that can't take care of itself. Well, I'm paraphrasing, as I suggested the notion that a baby is like a pet.

I think Katy disagrees, as she doesn't get to go to work because she has to hang out with an infant all day. She said that everyday is like a Friday, but it is also like a Monday, and that she really only dislikes it when she spends six hours trying to get Caroline to stop crying.

She's cute and all, but she's not putting me in the mood to procreate anytime soon. In any event, I applaud Justin and Katy's terrific genetic efforts for producing a gorgeous baby!

Baby baby baby!

I'm writing this from Justin and Katy's apartment. I came up here to feed their cat, Lily, and also play with her a bit as she has spent the day alone (she better get used to the neglect).

I went by the hospital after work to see Justin and Katy's (as of this writing unnamed) baby, who is gorgeous. I kinda cried a little bit when I saw her for the first time, and when I watched her stare right at Katy with her tiny little eyes. And I swear that she smiled when I put my hand on her head so SHE ALREADY HAS A FAVORITE. And I kinda want to tear up a little bit again, and, yes, I'm rather surprised that I'm so overwhelmed, but I've never really experienced seeing someone just hours after they came into the world (my brother the only exception, but he doesn't really count) (haha JK LOLZ!).

Anyway, it's been a long week and I'm kind of overwhelmed with emotion. I blogged about losing my childhood pet and then crying over Justin and Katy's daughter. I'm gonna go get drunk and do something dumb tonight, if only so I can have something not sentimental to write about on Monday.

Placenta! Delicious!

I've been reading Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy in the past week, and it's very good. I think I have a interest in medical history in general, since I am both a hypochondriac and thankful that medical practices aren't as fucked up as they were a hundred years ago. Also, since one of my friends here is preggers, I was more inspired to read it since I honestly don't know much about childbirth.

Now I'm a fountain of facts! Did you know that the first successful caesarian section in America was performed in Staunton, Virginia, just a half-hour from where I went to college? I didn't! (I also learned what a c-section actually involved. Yikes.) I think most people I know are kind of tired of me giving them unsolicited obstetric information, but I can't help it! I love facts! Basically, the book has kind of demystified childbirth for me and made me a little jealous that I can't have a baby. (Damn my penis!)

Katy has this running joke that I'm going to be in the delivery room with her when she gives birth so that I can deliver the placenta. Now, just because I've started to become fascinated with birth doesn't mean that I'd really want to do that. After all, I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies, and I have a long history of passing out when I'm around blood and needles. (True story: when two female friends of mine got their navels pierced on New Years Eve, I lost consciousness. And I wasn't even watching it happen. Imagine what would happen if I saw little Google popping out of her mother's vagina!)

This morning the issue came up again (on GChat, natch). I told Katy that I'd deliver her placenta if she agreed to eat it (I'm currently in the middle of the chapter on the postpartum period). She refused, saying that it was too disgusting. Even Adam, who is never on my side, thought it was a good compromise; he reasoned that she would even stand to gain something out of the situation, whereas I won't get anything out of removing her placenta. To entice Katy, I found some recipes:

Placenta Lasagne
Ingredients:
1 fresh, ground, or minced placenta, prepared as above
2 tblspns olive oil
2 sliced cloves garlic
1/2 tspn oregano
1/2 diced onion
2 tblspns tomato paste, or 1 whole tomato

Method: use a recipe for lasagne and substitute this mixture for one layer of cheese. Quickly sauté all the ingredients in olive oil. Serve. Enjoy!


Placenta Spaghetti Bolognaise
Ingredients:
1 fresh placenta, prepared as above
1 tblspn butter
1 large can tomato puree
2 cans crushed pear tomatoes
1 onion
2 cloves garlic
1 tblspn molasses
1 bay leaf
1 tblspn rosemary
1 tspn each of: salt, honey, oregano, basil, and fennel

Method: cut the placenta meat into bite-sized pieces, then brown quickly in the butter and olive oil. Add the rest of the ingredients and simmer for 1-1.5 hours. Serve. Yummy!


Again, Katy said she wanted to vomit, but I really think that's because she has a baby inside her. Surprisingly, Megan also reacted with disgust, even though I told her that this was a meat product she can eat! Tina Cassidy writes, "[Vegetarians] considered the placenta to be sacred, and, of course, because the organ gave life and nothing was killed to put it on the table, it was considered an honor to eat it." Alas, she was not interested.

I think I'd probably eat if given the chance, probably only to be contrary and freak out all of my friends who still can't believe that I like scrapple and dirty martinis.

I will do anything for free food, but I won't do that.