Michael Stipe is gay?

REM-frontman Michael Stipe came out of the closet. I always think it's a little condescending and offensive to say stuff like, "Oh, that was obvious," but it's different when you thought that the person in question had been out for years.

Megan and I are terrible people.

If you apply for an internship at Megan's company, she will most likely make fun of you.

Megan: you know what i've decided?
Megan: foreign language majors shouldn't look for internship that don't require foreign languages
Megan: because if your only distinguishing skill is spanish? you're not very special
Megan: and if you say you're in a sorority
Megan: I'M GOING TO DELETE YOUR RESUME
me: i fully support you on that.
Megan: hahahaha
Megan: i feel like this is my one chance to really stick it people like that. even if they have no idea who i am
me: or even know at all.
Megan: exactly
Megan: i did write one girl back to tell her that her resume was too long
Megan: it's five pages, tyler
me: hahahahahahaha
Megan: tyler, this guy wrote that his "skills and abilities" include: Cataloguing and Pricing Rare Books
me: i wish i got to look at resumes all day
Megan: it's the best part of my day, i love it.
Megan: under "language": Italian- Intermediate, English- Mother tongue
me: sigh.
Megan: nobody cares where you studied abroad either. i know you think it makes you fancy. but everyone went to europe in college.
Megan: "Public Relations, MOEF GA GA, Lloret de Mar, Spain, summer 2007.
Talking to thousands of tourists, and bringing them to my disco with a minimum of ten tourists a night. Responsible for knowing the special deals of each night and be able to explain it in at least five languages."
Megan: tyler, i'm going to start crying i'm laughing so hard
me: i'm tempted to put ads on craigslist now just to read the resumes
Megan: i'm totally going to test this guy. let's see what disco-customer-sleuthing does for your editorial skills.
Megan: "I hereby apply to be considered for position with your organization. I am studying for the Master of Science in Journalism at Florida A&M University.My concentration is in print journalism."
me: "with sound mind, i want to state my desire to work for your company."
Megan: i hereby delete your resume
Megan: bwahaha

Things I saw in a span of five minutes while walking down Clark Street on St. Patrick's Day (Observed):

1. A man walking straight into another man as he exited a car.

2. At least two people narrowly avoiding collisions with cabs.

3. A man with a two-foot-long red beard smashing beer bottles on the curb.

This is all you've got, seriously? Last year, on Broadway, I saw a man walk out of Avenue Tavern, drop his pants, and hail a cab with his penis. You disappoint me, St. Patrick's Day 2K8.

Love is like a bottle of gin, but a bottle of gin is not like love.

I'm not very good at writing about music (or dancing about architecture, AM I RIGHT YOU GUYS?), but I would like to say that I went to see the Magnetic Fields last night and good lord, I'm still kind of reeling from it. I went to the show feeling rather apathetic about it, as I tend to forget how fucking amazing their entire catalog because I always remember how nasally the female vocalists are. And while, yeah, they were pretty nasal live, it was still a fantastic experience to listen to gorgeous chamber music for two hours and remember all of the songs that fill me with such joy and despair. Seriously, there are so many songs from last night that made me remember good times and terrible times in the last year. And they played "It's Only Time," and I fucking cried. It was a rather intense concert experience, and I'm not sure I've had one like that before.

Here's a video of another of my favorites, "Yeah, Oh Yeah!"

And So It Goes.

Just as the only song that shares my name is about rape, it seems appropriate that The Mountain Goats' "Sept 15 1983" (which, IF YOU HAVEN'T PAID ATTENTION, is my date-of-birth) is about the murder of Prince Far I.

I am a good friend.

I don't have anything to say about myself today (sorry, everyone!), so here's a little FUN NEWS that my Chicago readers can take advantage of:

TONIGHT! Come see Attila at the CORNservatory. That's right, there's a THEATRE called the CORNservatory! Like CONservatory but with an extra R, which makes it kinda punny!


Bless their hearts!

If you didn't know already, my roommate / life-partner Christina is in Attila and she, along with the rest of the gang, is a goddamn delight. So if you want to laugh a lot, you should come at 10:30. Tickets are ten bucks, but it's not too pricey if you consider that it's BYOB! So bring a bottle of Yellow Tail. Or two! Everything will be really hilarious if you bring two!

There will most likely be a lot of cleavage, as well:

Just sayin'.

And if you need something funny and adorable to tie you over for the rest of the day, watch this:

Reminder: Always ask someone you love before you put anything in your mouth.

Good Lord.

(Thank you, Steve.)

Take A Chance On Me

Okay, so here's the thing: I'm definitely not an ABBA fan. I mean, I'll dance to "Dancing Queen" if it comes on at a party, but I won't have much self-respect for several hours. And don't get me started on Mamma Mia, which I will not be seeing even if I like crappy movie musicals and Meryl Streep.

With that in mind, I'd like to admit that I am losing my shit over this song and video:


First of all, this song is The Shit. It has CHANTING and, even though it's only four minutes long, it seems to go on forever, which is indeed a good thing. And the video? Fantastic. I love how you'll see old music videos from the '70s and '80s and think, "Man, this is so DIY," when it probably took a crew of forty Swedes to put this together. Doesn't it look like the Bjorns (I know one of those dudes is named Bjorn, but I can't remember which) filmed the ladies themselves? I bet it took a whole week to clean the Vaseline off the lens.

You may be asking why I found this song in the first place. Well, like "Honky Cat," I've gotten into this ABBA classic because of a Julie Klausner performance at The Loser's Lounge, as seen below:


In all seriousness, I listened to this song three times on the way to work. It's like the perfect Spring hit, if Spring was really a 34-degree morning in Chicago. (It's the first workday in MONTHS that I haven't worn long underwear!)

In an unrelated note: I deleted Vampire Weekend from my computer last night, and I feel really good about it. (Although I did keep "Oxford Comma," but let it be known that I do, in fact, give a fuck.) It's not that I hate Vampire Weekend, but I do think they are kind of silly. And that's clearly saying something when you realize that I kept the Free To Be Friends song, "Boys and Girls are Different in the Pants."

"The art of the sell-out is performed at least twice in a person’s life and if it isn’t, then you’re probably an insufferable moralist or an impostor."
- Maggie Shnayerson

I wonder why I look so nervous...

Alissa, Katy, Justin, Caroline, me, and Adam at Caroline's baptism reception.