Okay, let's get for reals here.
I need a new job and we all know it. Even my boss knows it, and has even told me about jobs here that I'm completely unqualified for.
It's not that the job sucks (as most of you have been well aware of for nearly a year now). I mean, most administrative or clerical jobs suck. And that's fine. The problem is that I'm not making any money. And when I say that I'm not like, "Oh, I was an English major and I'm not making any money." I mean it in the sense that my position doesn't even require a college degree. It's kind of like I'm stocking merchandise, but instead of boxes of cereal, I'm stocking ACT scores.
So, since I had some moderate success when I called upon you all to tell me who you were (meaning, I got, like, four responses from people who weren't trying to insult me), I figured I'd try my luck with my blog. Because, honestly, I'm not going to pay CareerBuilder to send out my resume (even though it's been viewed a whopping zero times), and I'm tired of getting MULTIPLE offers to open bank accounts in my name so that I can cash money orders sent to me by MULTIPLE British men in Nigeria (who ALL live in Nigeria with their wives, two children, and three dogs and ALL inherited their uncle's textile business and ALL conveniently found my resume on Craigslist and PROMISE that their offer is in NO WAY A SCAM).
All I want is a job, preferably administrative or clerical in nature (I don't want to call people to sell them stuff they have no intention of buying), that pays me closer to the average entry-level salary for English majors, which is around thirty-two thousand dollars. (Seriously? I'd kill for thirty-thousand dollars a year. My expectations aren't that high.) I'm very smart and I can learn how to do just about anything, I promise.
If any of you out there happen to be professionals of some sort (preferably professional Chicagoans with connections to powerful and kind HR representatives) and would like to help me - even just some ADVICE, since no one will tell me what to do - I'd love you forever.
Also, I'm on my lunch break right now, because WORK COMES FIRST. Blogging is totally second, dude.