Thursday, December 15, 2005


So Lindsay and I decide to go to our temp agency's holiday party downtown. I was expecting the worst. One can just imagine how awkward office parties can be (I've seen The Office). Now imagine about fifty temps who don't know each other interacting over free alcohol.

We got there about an hour before the party was supposed to end because we decided to drive instead of take the train. By the time we found a parking space and walked about seven blocks to the bar, we had less than an hour to pound down as many free drinks as possible. Plus, I had no idea if all drinks would be free or if it'd be cheap beer.

I should also mention that we parked at a meter and we didn't have enough quarters for the full two hours. Lindsay turns to the first person who walks by: a frail, bundled black woman. She said she didn't have any quarters, and then there was a short pause, and she says, "I haven't eaten all day!" Yes, Lindsay asked a homeless woman for spare change. After starting on her speech about being hungry and being refused from a restaurant because they didn't have any seats, Lindsay searched her car and found a bag of Fritos for her.

We get to the bar, finally, and we found the recruiter who interviewed both of us. We talked with her while I drank a bottled Budweiser (I felt like such a man). I'm definitely attracted to her, and of course I was awkward, forgetting how to pronouce "Wrigleyville" when she asked where I live. I was also surprised that she's just a year older than me and she has a grown-up job. It's weird.

After talking to her, we sit down at this table with a group of people who looked young and inviting. Honestly, there was a table of three hipster-looking types that we would have rather sat with, but they didn't have any room for us. The group we sit with consists of a bleach-blond, doe-eyed girl wearing a sequined Led Zeppelin t-shirt, her smiley friend with the biggest hair I've seen since being in Chicago, some gay guy, and some dude who with no personality. I ended up talking to the chatty Led Zeppelin girl. She almost moved to Charlottesville once and knew where JMU is. Whoop whoop.

The gay guy mentioned something about being from the south, so I asked him where he was from. We had a brief conversation about Texas and Virginia, and it ended quickly because it wasn't very interesting. As Led Zeppelin girl gets my attention again to talk about some guy she's in love with, I noticed that big hair guy, who is sitting next to me, motions for gay guy to switch him seats. Now, I'm usually paranoid anyway, and it was kind of awkward, but gay guy and I didn't even talk again, so I felt silly for thinking that there was some plan to have him sit next to me.

Blah blah blah. I drink more beer and a gin and tonic. I talked to my recruiter some more about my resume and the whole disheartening job-search. I'm getting drunker and deciding that I like her, even though she's not my type. (I watched The Baxter earlier and really loved the part where the Zak Orth character sees a girl he doesn't know at a friend's apartment, and rushes over to introduce himself when he realizes she doesn't have a boyfriend. I am a Baxter.) The temp agency's owner comes by with an order of several shot-glasses of Goldschlager. He even takes a picture of all the agency's recruiters, and though I step back because I don't work there, they motion for me to be in the picture.

I talked to another recruiter about my temp position this week and how much it sucked. (I decided not to write an entry about it because I wanted to block it from my memory, but the job involved me putting employee Christmas presents into gift boxes...about five hundred nylon windbreakers.) She asked me what I was looking for, and I told her that ideally, something in publishing. She kind of winced, which is not a good sign. Then I told her that at this point I just want a real job because temping, well, sucks.

Anyway, the actual party wasn't awkward at all. I had fun and got really drunk. Also, just showing up and talking to the recruiters will make them remember me and what I'm looking for. Also, the receptionist knew who I was because when I said that my name was Tyler, she yelled, "JOHN TYLER C0ATES!"

The only downside about the party was that I left by myself (Lindsay had to work today so she left early). Which means I had to drunkenly wander around downtown Chicago alone, searching for the red line subway. Oh, and the other downside: I mixed beer and liquor again. Stupid stupid stupid.

The agency called me today about a job for tomorrow and Monday, so I'm glad I'll have more work before going home. The girl sounded pretty rough on the phone - maybe I wasn't the only one having a bad morning.

Oh, I almost forgot the best part, which definitely WAS awkward. Lindsay, who is dying to go dancing at a gay bar in Boystown, exchaned numbers with the gay guy we sat with. At the end of the night, when he was leaving, he said, "Are you going to come out dancing with us?" I told him that I'd think about it, and he said, "You should. We can make out." I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just laughed awkwardly. Then he asked, "Don't you want to make out with me?" "That might be awkward," I said. And this is his response: "Well, it won't be awkward when I put my tongue in your mouth."

I don't know if that line works that often, but I was definitely a little creeped out. I think I would have felt weird if the hot recruiter said that to me.


Steve said...

Was this Lakeshore? And if so, was the recruiter Moira? I used to have the hots for her.

Tyler said...

No, a new agency. Moira lost points for refusing to return my phone calls.