I temped today at the Merchandise Mart attaching invoices to contracts. Or something like that. I dunno, I just did as I was told. The first project took me two and a half hours. It was easy, it shouldn't have taken longer, but the guy who I was temping for was surprised at how fast I was. Then I stuffed envelopes. Then I checked off business names when I found them in a directory. Uhh. I don't really know what I did, but I did it really quickly while everyone in the office kinda chatted and didn't work much. Which makes sense, because I had no one to talk to, so I couldn't really procrastinate like everyone else could. So I finished my work in seven hours, and I was supposed to temp there for two days.
So, I don't get to work tomorrow like I thought.
What the fuck? I work really really hard and now I'm out of work again! Grr. I wish I could explain this to potential employers. I wish I could tell them, "Hey, I'll kick the shit out of my job!"
This wouldn't be so frustrating if it wasn't the SECOND time this happened. The temp job I had before only lasted six hours when I was expecting it to last two days. Maybe people who order temps deliberately overshoot how long the positions will last because they expect temps to be, I don't know...functionally retarded? But I'm not retarded, so I can file papers pretty quickly because I know the alphabet.
It's frustrating. Especially since the people in that office were just a little dumb. I'm not just saying this, either. I could have done their jobs. They were any smarter or more qualified than I was. Also, one of the girls went crazy over gummy bears, brilliantly summing up their existence with the following line: "Mmmm, I love gummy bears. They're like flavored rubber, they're SOOO GOOOOD."
But there's good news. Project Runway is back on and there are already a few people whose faces I want to kick in. I'm talking to you, Daniel Franco. Stop whining. If you spent as much time on your designs as you did on your stupid rockstar hair, you wouldn't have to remind everyone how you were cut from last season and made it back on.
Also, I want Tim Gunn to be my life coach.
Also, Heidi Klum is the hottest pregnant lady ever.