Wednesday, November 08, 2006

All I wanna do is do what I wanna do and all I wanna do is blog from work.

I'm stressed. I'm exhausted. I want to write a blog but I can't think of one thing to write about, so you're gonna get this.

1. I forgot to get my absentee ballot so I couldn't vote. At least (hopefully) George Allen has lost (we have to wait on the recount). The Board of Supervisors election back in Westmo' has resulted in the election of our county's former district attorney, who was kicked out of office and disbarred when he was caught at the Washington and Lee Motel in Montross buying cocaine and arranging plea bargains and acquittals. And he's a Democrat. See? Stupidity transcends party lines.

2. Work sucks my balls so hard and I'm not going to write about it because I'd go on for weeks.

3. Julia and I are seeing Joanna Newsom tonight. Thank God, something fun.

4. My SoLit paper is due tomorrow. It has to be no longer than ten pages, which is easy. The problem is that I only have two pages. And I'm going to a show tonight. And my subject, "Shadrach" by William Styron, hasn't been written about before in an academic sense, so there are absolutely no sources for my paper. I'm relying on my own brilliance and The Encyclopedia of Southern Culture. (Yes. I'm writing a research paper and using an encyclopedia as a source. I feel like I'm in middle school.)

5. Britney's back, y'all.

6. My next assignment for "The Essay" involves writing a three-page personal essay about a certain dish that I just love. Unfortunately, I don't eat most things because I have issues. Last night, Dr. Asshat asked us, "Does anyone just not like food?" Of course I raised my hand and confessed, "I'm the pickiest eater anyone's ever met." When someone tried to call me on that (Oh, please, girl. You don't eat macaroni and cheese? That's Busch league.), I played the always reliable "I've never eaten an orange" card and that shut people up for about eight seconds. Then my professor tried to make a joke about how crystal meth is only bad the first couple times you try it and then you develop a taste for it. His online ratings mention his "tasteless" jokes, but I don't find them inappropriate as much as I find them annoying. It's not that they're tasteless, it's just that you can only hear so many Schiavo or munchies jokes before they lose their relevance.

7. This week in Too Much Information: last night the Dude Who Formally Looked Like the Front-Half of a Satyr asked me if I "refused the milk as a baby." Taking his chance to continued to Inappropriateness, Dr. Asshat said, "What, are you thinking about writing about breast milk?!" Ex-Satyr said, "Well, I've had lot of field experience."

8. We got two more temps yesterday, which brings the Temp Total to eleven. Check back tomorrow for a link to my new blog, "Temp Overload."

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