"It's OK to say Merry Christmas to me!"

Occasionally, I have nutty GChat conversations with Katy. Sometimes the stuff she says is so fascinating that I want to share them with the world. To know Katy is to love her, but to read transcriptions of her instant messages is to look deeply into her soul.

This week, Katy and I discuss the War on Christmas and her cat's jealousy of her unborn child.





Katy: so i heard this ad on the radio that is for these pins you can order that say "it's ok to say merry christmas to me!"
me: are you going to get one?
Katy: no!
Katy: i say it to people regardless
me: good girl
me: you're on the right side of the war on christmas
Katy: i don't look jewish so there shouldn't be confusion
me: well, what if you were a convert, but weren't ethnically jewish?
Katy: hmm
me: i'd probably say it anyway, out of nostalgia
me: i don't have a problem with what people say to me
Katy: i don't either
me: hell, if someone at macy's told me to fuck off after i bought something, i'd be fine with that
i'd probably respect them more
Katy: lol
Katy: only at macys though
me: where else would i shop?!
Katy: american apparel!
me: american apparel is a big "fuck you" to me anyway
Katy: they would totally say it there

Katy: lily has been hinting to me that she wants me to declaw her
me: oh yeah? how so?
Katy: she was scratching the crib this morning
me: did she look like she was disgusted with her behavior?
Katy: no she was really smug
me: so how do you know she WANTS to be declawed?
Katy: because if she didn't she wouldn't scratch
me: you don't think she scratches because she enjoys her claws?
me: and the power?
Katy: maybe subconsciously
Katy: shes acting out because of the baby
me: do you think she's jealous because of not being the center of attention, or is she jealous because she can't have a baby of her own?
Katy: its probably both
me: she needs to go into therapy
Katy: ok, i'm convinced
me: i'll do it, if you want.
Katy: i try to talk to her but i think she needs outside help
me: katy, i broke her of her fear of sleeping in a bed with people
me: i was like, "lily, i am going to nap and you are going to cuddle with me. and you have to accept it."
Katy: i know, maybe that is what opened her floodgates
Katy: she doesn't fear anymore
Katy: she sleeps in the bed almost every night now
me: but isn't it comforting?
Katy: it is. it's adorable
me: sometimes, you have to take the good with the bad
Katy: i know...
me: like, accept her issues because she's adorable
me: i think you're the one who needs therapy, katy
Katy: i have been to therapy! i know how it works
me: but do you know that it DID work?
Katy: shove it
Katy: i am no longer destructive

And a bonus one-liner!
Katy: the guy looks like an ugly paul giamatti