You did it!

I'd like to dedicate this congratulatory post to my roommate Christina "WHY DON'T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND?" Boucher, who managed to make it to Valentine's Day before I could come up with one hundred reasons why she didn't have a boyfriend.

I could only think of ninety.

I'm giving the people what they want.

My work ethic is pretty low right now, so I'm going to post as many times today as possible. Which might end up being, like, four times (and that's an optimistic goal), since I'll most likely run out of things to say.

So, someone found my blog this morning by searching for this:

Here you go:

I don't "do" full screen.

Last night I rented The Departed from the Hollywood Video down the street from my apartment. When I got to Kristin's I realized I had accidentally picked up a FULL SCREEN copy, and I was really upset and said that we couldn't watch it. On my walk home from her apartment - after I had had a half bottle of cheap red wine (it was $6.99 at The Market Place, and, considering their price inflation, it was really about $4.99 at Normal Grocery Store) - I went back to Hollywood and told them I had to exchange the DVD. I felt bad for about five minutes - I even said, "I'm sorry, I feel really snobby about this, but I just can't watch a full screen DVD. Ha ha!" But then I realized I was talking to a grown man with a poorly-groomed goatee who had so much product in his hair that it was all standing on its end, and I immediately stopped caring.

Sweating the small stuff, etc.

I'm only bitter because it's Valentine's Day on principle. I've never really cared very much about it, either way, probably because I've never been in a relationship ON Valentine's Day. The only time I really had a memorable holiday was junior year when Megan and I watched Morvern Collar, which was really bad so we were like, "Let's make out." I doubt I'll have the same luck tonight.

Anyway, this is just a shitty day that just happens to also be Valentine's Day, and frankly, I have other stuff to deal with. Like, for example, how my new boss told me yesterday that, no, he's not actually going to move me under a new manager and give me an office like he told he was last week. (I'm beginning to see a pattern here with the way I'm delivered my news.) This is fine, because this plot was just a way to butter me up and make me stay, since he freaked out slightly when he found out I was looking for a new job (why else would he offer me AN OFFICE?).

This weekend we're showing the apartment to get a new roommate, which I'm not particularly excited about, but it has to be done. At this point, I'm no longer nervous about living with a stranger, because I've done it and it sucks but I'm just going to have to deal with it.

And more importantly, my father is having the first of two surgeries today, and he's going to be in the hospital in Richmond for the next two weeks. All of this is really sudden and scary, especially since there are tests to be done after the second surgery that affects what happens after this week, and I'm really upset that I'm not home right now. I'm trying to stay positive because my parents are doing a pretty good job at being optimistic (at least they seem like it over the phone). And I'm so self-aware of my own frustrations that seem to be piling up on top of each other all at once, and I realize that I tend to freak out when faced with all of this bullshit.

So I've got to keep positive and be excited about little things, like how I'm hanging out with friends tonight, and how maybe we can find a roommate that's really cool and turns out to be a new friend, and how both Andrew Bird and The Arcade Fire announced tour dates that include Chicago. And hey, at least I don't look like this anymore:
Woof.

Pity, party of one?

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and, since I live in Chicago, there's a 40% chance of snow. And since I'm not dating anyone, there's a 100% chance I'll be spending my holiday with Kristin, cooking a chicken recipe my friend Morgan sent me in the mail, eating said dinner on the kitchen floor (as Kristin does not have a table, or any furniture, yet, for that matter), drinking a bottle of wine, and hopefully watching a movie where a lot of people get shot (my pick is The Departed).

For those of you who have plans with a special someone tomorrow night, congratulations. I mean no ill will. I just hope you don't screw it up by telling your boyfriend/girlfriend that you love them two weeks before breaking up with them because you're "just not compatible in the long run." I don't know about you, but I think that's just slightly incongruous.

Still trying to lose the awkward teenage blues.

Christina affirmed her status as my Number One BFF again tonight. After I was dumped, essentially, at Chipotle (note to self: never agree to having "a talk" at Chipotle ever again), received not-so-great medical news from home, and was in a general malaise because the dining cart suddenly detached from the Normalcy Express and headed down the fast track to Nutzville, Christina knew that the only way to cheer me up was to make me lay in Heaven (which is what she calls my bed. We have a completely normal, healthy, platonic living arrangement) and close my eyes. Then she played "Night Moves" and scratched my head, and I realized that no matter what happens, I'll always have at least one friend who fully understands the healing powers of Bob Seger.

I have a penchant for being cryptic when I'm bitter and can't sleep.

Well, the one good thing I can say about today is that it's suddenly warmer, with the temperature hitting a steaming twenty seven degrees. I didn't have to wear my gloves today, and I only had four layers on (instead of my usual five).

This week, however, doesn't seem to be improving on last week. I'm holding out for good news from the homefront and trying to stay positive. And since my money's pretty tight, I'll most likely be eating a lot of peanut butter sandwiches for lunch instead of splurging on chicken tacos. And work is about to get much more stressful and weirder.

Gah, it's only just past midnight on Monday morning and I'm ready to throw in the towel.

A few more random thoughts:

I saw The Shins on Saturday night and was incredibly bored.

The Magnetic Fields have become much more relevant in the last eight hours.

I'm hoping the new Andrew Bird album can keep me sane until Friday.

Who needs PBS? I'm learning everything I need to know on my own.

I've been suffering from blogger apathy lately. Nothing really interesting has been happening of late, and when I do try to write blog posts based on my opinions (which are always right) I end up getting bored because the Internet is fickle and not as accepting of my opinions as it should be. (This little guy and I have a lot in common.) Also, I know that if I wrote a blog post defending Dreamgirls as a relatively good movie musical (definitely not Best Picture quality but far superior to Chicago) based on my film studies background (I took film genres once and we focused on musicals), some a-hole (I'm talking to you, my Google Reader-using frenemy) would leave a d-bag comment about it. Also, it's time I get "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" out of my head.

So instead of giving you a top ten list of my favorite movie musicals (with commentary - you're really missing it, you guys!) (1. Fiddler on the Roof, 2. Singin' in the Rain, 3. All That Jazz, 4. Little Shop of Horrors, 5. The Music Man, 6. Top Hat, 7. Jesus Christ Superstar, 8. Camp, 9. Dancer in the Dark, 10. Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory SORRY I COULDN'T HELP IT) and my least-favorites (1. The Sound of Music, 2. The Sound of Music, 3. The Sound of Music, 4. The Sound of Music, 5. The Sound of Music, 6. The Sound of Music, 7. The Sound of Music, 8. The Sound of Music, 9. The Sound of Music, 10. The Sound of Music), I'll give you a list of lessons I learned this week. These are important ones, folks.

1. If I buy sweaters at H&M every week, I will most likely overdraw my account.

2. Having multiple strangers compliment me on said sweaters only encourages the overdrawing of my account.

3. The Puppy Bowl is still more exciting than the Super Bowl, although the Bissell Kitten Half Time Show paled in comparison to Prince and "Purple Rain".

4. I am completely nuts and will get mad and loved ones in my head even though it's really just ME who is in a bad mood. This will escalate into me thinking that I'm legitimately mad at people, when it's just me being crazy. Morgan gave me these wise words: "When I feel that way, I just say to myself, 'Morgan, not all of your feelings are valid.'" This will be my new mantra: "You're opinions may be completely on-target, but your feelings are on the fast track to Crazytown."

5. [Redacted]

6. The death of Anna Nicole Smith is the only reason I would purposely watch Nancy Grace. What an entertaining episode that was last night.

7. I'm becoming addicted to Law and Order: SVU against my best intentions. I hate it. I love it. I hate it! I love it! I hate it and I love it! It's something about my pedophiliaphilia combined with completely unrealistic story lines involving big corporations poisoning people or the Indian (dots) Zach Braff (or is he the Indian Ryan Reynolds? discuss amongst yourselves).

8. I learned that I love (and slightly hate) Sarah Vowell, as I am currently reading Assassination Vacation.

9. I only ever want to see Carl and the Passions perform improv. They are the. best. group. ever.

10. Despite its closing a few weeks ago for health code violations, I will still patronize the McDonald's down the street from my office.

To my new reader in Bradenton, Florida:

I sure hope you found what you were looking for.

And I think I love you.

Change is gonna do me good.

I'm taking a "Me" day today, partly because Chicago is depressed as hell because of the Super Bowl (I'm telling you, people, that if you saw that puggle last night on the Puppy Bowl, you'd be all smiles!), partly because Chicago is still really, really, really fucking cold, and also because I had an awkward phone interview scheduled for noon and I figured I'd be two-percent less awkward if I did it in my living room instead of surrounded by college students marching off to their accounting classes. But mostly because it's cold.

Now I'm going to go vacuum my living room and finally change my sheets. (It's been too long since I've done either of those things.) Also, I'll probably be singing "Honky Cat," which I will have in my head for the rest of the week because of this:



Thank you for being, Julie Klausner.