Thursday, December 07, 2006

All Of My Opinions Are Right 2006: Favorite Movies Not From 2006

It's December, which means a few things: first, it's cold as BALLS, and even though the weather fluxuates up and down, the high never hits above thirty-five, and with the goddamn wind here in Chicago, "thirty-five" actually feels like "two." Second, it's the end of the year, which means I come up with lists of my favorite things from 2006! I love doing this, especially since I have a blog that people READ. I also like it because (and this will come as no surprise if you really know me), all of my opinions are really facts.

So to start it off, I'll publish my list of the best movies I saw in 2006 that were not actually released in 2006:

1. Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus (2005)
This is my favorite movie about the South. It's really honest an beautifully shot. Also, it taught me what "Alabama chrome" is.
2. All That Jazz (1979)
All That Jazz is one of the best movie musicals ever made. Ever. I hated Chicago, and I feel like this is what Chicago should have been like. Grittier! Sexier! More orgy scenes set to cheesey, fake Broadway showtunes!
3. Quadrophenia (1979)
This is a great Mod classic and it makes me want to listen to the Ronettes and then run people over with my Vespa.
4. The Warriors (1979)
This is a great mysogistic cult-classic that makes me want to wear stage makeup and beat people up with baseball bats.
5. Citizen Ruth (1996)
There's this great scene where Ruth, played by Laura Dern, watches an anti-abortion video that explains where aborted babies go, and she says, "I slept in a few dumpsters. Maybe I slept on some babies."
6. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
I don't have anything particularly clever to say about this one. It's just really, really good.
7. Crimes of the Heart (1986)
This movie has so much going for it (Keaton, Spacek, and Lange), and I really like movies where Southern women sit around and talk about shit.
8. Jesus' Son (1999)
Billy Crudup is great in this and it really makes me mad that he does such a great job. I'd rather hate him for leaving Mary Louise Parker for Monkey-Face Danes. Oh, and also for those damn credit card commercials.
9. Kicking and Screaming (1995)
"What I used to able to pass off as a bad summer could now potentially turn into a bad life."
10. Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)
Ellen Burstyn is hot.

3 comments:

garin said...

I don't know if you've run into this, but when I tell people about Kicking and Screaming, people are like:
Friends:"Oh, that Will Ferrell movie about soccer?"
Me becoming irate:"No, goddamnit! The dude from Squid and the Whale's first film."
Friends:"Oh. Never heard of it."

What's wrong with people?

Fave line:
"Are you wearing eyeliner?"
"No...Yes."

Tyler said...

Garin,

I know! Most people haven't heard of it, unfortunately.

Meg said...

Dude, I totally <3 you. I thought I was the only one that hated Chicago. Someone needs to take that camera away from Rob Marshall.