This is what I found outside my window when I woke up this morning:
So I'll be honest: I was kind of excited about the snow. Woo-hoo! Snow! Happy December, y'all! A foot of snow today! Yeeaah!
I like snow in Chicago! Last year, when it snowed, it was actually warmer than it was the week before, and even though there was so much snow everywhere, our lives didn't completely shut down the way they do in Virginia. People understand how to live with snow here! Amazing!
And then I walked outside and realized that Chicago is FUCKING CRAZY.
Any intelligent Southerner (and yes, there are MANY) would know that when big, fat snowflakes are literally - literally - pelting you in the face, there is absolutely no reason to leave your house. Even employers understand that. So do presidents of universities.
In Chicago, however, little old ladies will crowd the bus stops. People will walk five blocks to the El train and WAIT FOREVER BECAUSE THE TRACKS ARE ON FIRE. When THE TRACKS are on FIRE, ONE SHOULD BE EXCUSED FROM COMMUTING TO WORK.
I guess I'm forgetting to mention the only good thing about this craziness: you can show up to work fifteen minutes later than usual and no one will say anything. You could live next door and still blame your tardiness on the commute.