Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Five Ways To Not Get Pregnant.


1. Use condoms.

2. Take birth control pills.

3. Don't fuck your stupid, blond, nineteen-year-old live-in boyfriend.

4. Only offer HJs.

5. Don't be related to Britney Spears.


Sorry, Jamie Lynn. FAIL.

11 comments:

Jason said...

someone needs to run up and punch her in the stomach

Brit said...

"But Britney said the pull-out method works!" Jamie Lynn Spears to Nickelodeon executives before the shit hit the fan.

each of the two said...

how much do you want to wait in line all night to ready momma spears' book on parenting.

oh the laughter, the irony

i expect a sum up.

Katy said...

I totally failed too.

lkbom said...

I laughed and thought about you this morning when the Redeye remarked that between this and Amy Winhouse's arrest, blogger's heads would be exploding.

lkbom said...

Oh, and also, it's B-L-O-N-D-E.

Tyler said...

"Blonde" is for girls, "blond" is for boys.

lkbom said...

Plllll.

Blond was popularized by magazine executives at rags like Cosmo.

I knew you were going to say that.

each of the two said...

wait now i feel old.

and stupid

and sexually imature.

(and i am none of these things)

what is an HJ?

Tyler said...

Handjob!

Mr. Shain said...

are you saying that if you lived with that guy you wouldn't be pregnant too?