I've been trying very hard to be happy lately. I know no one can blame me for being bummed about life and shit, considering the first half of my year, and I feel like the events from the last month took place ages ago. But unfortunately, and understandably, returning to Chicago hasn't been like flipping a switch and made everything go back to normal. I still have to work, I still find myself struggling to figure out what I want to do with myself, I continue to go to Berlin and drink too much and spent Sunday evening feeling stupid for going back then, and occasionally, I write about it here with the self-awareness that I probably shouldn't because who the hell knows who even reads this anymore.
I've always had this thing where I've had to have a plan. Well, I have to always construct a plan. I'm pretty terrible at following things through. Right now my goal is to write more, specifically write more things not on the Internet and try to do something with that writing.
My other goal: to stop whining on the Internet so much.
I started reading Rachel Shukert's Have You No Shame? It's pretty funny, and well-written; so far it's one of those good memoir/essay/story collections, in the vein of Sedaris but written by an overwhelmingly (and not in a bad way) Jewish gal. As I was reading it, and having had someone tell me last night I really ought to write a memoir, I keep thinking, "There's absolutely no reason why I can't do this, too." So maybe that's a goal? I dunno. But it would be a project, at least, and I could use one of those.