The only thing weirder than Fresca is Tab!

I've never had Tab. Tab really confuses me - I just don't get it.

My main memory associated with Tab is of my godmother. My family would go to Nags Head every year with my godparents. I remember my godmother buying packs of Tab to last her the week, but she'd only drink one a day because that was back when everyone thought saccharin would give you cancer. I guess she thought that by drinking only one a day, her risk of getting cancer would be lower than if she drank more than one can a day. That's an interesting idea. It's kind of like only allowing yourself one unprotected sexual encounter with a stranger each year. (I'd like to note that the fear of saccharin-induced cancer did not stop my mother from putting two packets of Sweet'N Low* in her coffee and tea.)

Now that saccharin apparently won't give you cancer (thanks, scientists!) I wonder if my godmother allows herself more than one Tab a day. Because I think if we didn't have to worry about The Clap, we'd throw those condoms right out the window.




*Fun fact! Saccharin is banned in Canada, so Sweet'N Low uses the artificial sweetener cyclamate, which is banned in the United States.