I'm sorry, but I can't help myself.
"When I was in high school, I had the best cat ever. He was a stray, but we found him when he was just a kitten. He grew up into this beast. He always had this wild nature to him and he always disappeared for days and we never knew where he was. He was huge, too: like, twenty pounds or somethin'.
"One day - this is when I was away at college - he came back home and was, like, dragging his hind legs. They took him to the vet who said he had some kind of blood clot that had, like, affected the nervous systems in his legs, or somethin'. The vet asked if he could do this experimental operation for free. He amputated the hind legs and replaced them with wheels. But, you know, the cat was never really the same after that."
WHEELS. They took the poor cat to a vet who, instead of, oh, I don't know, removing the clot or possibly putting the cat out of his misery, replaced his legs with WHEELS. WHEELS. A CAT ON WHEELS.
Thank God for Google image search:I know said cat was not Persian (this picture is especially for Sarah, who will think that little alien-looking thing is just darlin'), and those wheels aren't ATTACHED to the cat. In fact, this is a picture of a cat on a CART, which is much less depressing than a cat whose hind legs were REPLACED with wheels. And yes, there was a testimonial that went with this gem of a picture (and yes, it was posted in Comic Sans): "Pugsley is a wonderful cat. Thanks for the cart. It gives him more mobility on long jaunts.. Now his favorite thing is to go down hill. He loves the speed. Zoom, zoom."
That cat's name is Pugsley and he goes on jaunts. God bless America.