Friday, June 16, 2006

Clarifications.

I should probably state, for the record's sake, what's been going on that's been making me upset all week, since I've gotten a few messages from people asking if I'm ok. I guess when you allude to "drunken emotional breakdowns" people think you're actually cray-cray in a Britney Spears kind of way. I'm not, don't worry. Although I am taking a poetry-writing class. Soon I'll just update my blog through verse and you'll just have to guess what's going on.

Anyway, the bad news is that my grandmother's really sick. We're pretty much preparing for the worst, and this is obviously a big deal since I'm six hundred miles away and can't do anything to help. At the same time, I'm glad I'm not there experiencing it because I think I wouldn't be able to keep it together the way I am now. And thinking this also makes me feel like a shit, since I'm even dreading Father's Day because I'm afraid to call and talk to my grandfather. I was really close to my grandmother and it hasn't been easy for me to deal with this. But don't worry; I'm fine and stable, I just happen to get upset after drinking nine drinks on a Thursday night. Hey, at least they were free! Thanks, DePaul!

The somewhat troublesome way I cope with depressing stuff like this is buying shit I don't need. This includes food. Instead of making lunch at home, I've eaten out all week. Today my body was craving really gross food so I got McDonald's for both breakfast AND lunch. I'm so, so satisfied, though, because I love McDonald's. Godddd it is so good. But it's also expensive, especially for my tight budget.

Also, I bought the soundtrack to A Prairie Home Companion, which I DEFINITELY did not need. I never buy CDs and now I feel dumb for paying money for that one. But at the time of purchase, I needed it. I needed some sweet Garrison Keillor jams in my life. Now I realize that I will never listen to it again and seeing Lindsay Lohan's name above Liz Phair's on my iPod makes me want to throw up.

And I'm going to a show tonight, which I'm really happy about even though I could save my twelve dollars and watch the Neil Young movie at home. But I haven't gone to a show for over a month and I need some live music. I'm going to the Metro next week to see Fiery Furnaces, which was expensive but I'm going to write it off as a good decision anyway. Assuming Ticketmaster actually mails me my ticket, since it's still MIA. I didn't pay ten dollars in service charges to not get a service.

Anyway, that's my life this week. Hopefully things will be smooth next week.

1 comment:

Christina said...

I heart you boo!

p.s. I saw a picture of Taye Diggs when he was here back in like '91, and thought of you! You should call him up and chat about his barn days.