I've been in a real pissy mood since last night, and while I'd love to write something hilarious today, I've got nothing, so I'm going to go with this.
I'm really frustrated with this MTV/Rolling Stone thing. Since I don't have any writing samples that fit the criteria, I have to just write them up this week. I managed to do one on Sunday night, and it took me two hours to write a minor five-hundred-word essay. It used to take that long for me to write something three times that length. I sat at my computer last night, trying to get something out for the second essay, but I couldn't think of anything. And there's absolutely no reason why I shouldn't be able to do this. I used to go to Carrier Library two hours before a paper would be do for a class and write it and eventually get an A on it. I'd do that about twice a week. So why the hell can't I manage to write a five-hundred-word essay on Gilmore Girls or the Neko Case album?
I don't even particularly want to be on this show; I'm basically filling this stuff out because it was supposed to be fun. Now I feel like I'm applying to college or something. I'm spending an hour looking at pictures of myself, trying to figure out which one someone in the casting department at MTV would like, or trying to come up with my top five non-fiction writers, as if there is a right answer. I wouldn't say I want to be a journalist. Sure, I'd like to be a writer, but I don't think I'd want to work for a magazine. It just doesn't really appeal to me enough for me to get motivated to complete the application.
But now I can't quit because I've told too many people that I'm going to do it. Damn my big mouth!
There are a couple of other things that have been bothering me. One would be the realization that if I plan to find another apartment before my lease is up, I need to save up money for the security deposit. This poses a problem, however, since my three hundred dollars a week doesn't really allow me to save up a lot of money. I basically make enough to live here and pay for the occasional cheap entertainment (by the way, cheap entertainment does not imply strippers).
So that leads me to the job situation. My time is up in June, and that sucks. The last two months have flown by, and I'm afraid the next two will do the same. I have absolutely no ideas. I have a revised resume but I haven't applied to anything, simply because I obviously don't know how to look for a job (reference blog entries from October to January as proof). I've sent my resume to Kristin's dad, and hopefully one of his contacts will pull through.
I like my job alright. It's pretty mindless, but I get along with the people I have to work with and the atmosphere is pretty relaxed. Apparently I'm kicking ass here; my boss told me yesterday that I get through the most applications, even beating the full-time people who do my job year-round. This, of course, is the story of my fucking life. I'm a hard-worker and can do pretty much anything an employer tells me to do (I had no idea how to use PeopleSoft when I got here), but no one is willing to give me a job and train me at something new. How the hell do I write, "Oh, my boss told me I was better than the full-time people at my last temp job!" on my resume?
One of the other temps who has been here since March left yesterday because his assignment ended. He is thirty-eight and used to be an IT manager before he lost his job. Now he makes nine dollars an hour temping (less than me, which is weird - I guess not all temp agencies will pay ten dollars, so I'm pretty lucky). And that sucks. I don't ever want to have to deal with that.
Also, I hate every single pair of nice pants I own. I own four pairs and they all suck. The Dockers dress pants my mother told me I had to buy don't fit right; they're too baggy in the leg and too short, and I feel like an idiot. I might break down and go to H&M after work today and buy a new pair of pants that will likely shrink or fall apart after I wash them.
I watched half of Prozac Nation last night and it's really horrible, which is a shame because I loved that book so much. It's honestly put together as if it's a film school project. Christina Ricci does a really great job, but at some points she seems like she's trying to figure out, along with me, what the hell is wrong with the movie she's in.
I do have one good thing to report: I'm not wearing long underwear today, which is the first time since November. Hooray for Spring.