Sometimes I'm all, "Hey, I don't remember when I showered last. That means I should shower." But then, I'm like, "Hey, it's eleven o'clock, so I just want to go to bed, because if I shower now, my hair will be wet when I fall asleep and be extra crazy in the morning." But then, "I will not wake up in time to shower in the morning." And, "My hair looks better when it's a little dirty anyway! Like today, it looked great today!" "Yeah, but eventually nature is going to catch up with you and people will smell your dirty hair and body." And then I'm like, "Fuck you, life. That's why Febreze* and Axe Body Spray were invented. THE END."
*I also have issues doing laundry, natch.