Tuesday, April 04, 2006


I was planning to write a (somewhat) humorous post today about having more awkward bathroom experiences, this time at the Empty Bottle on Saturday night when some dude started talking to me at the urinal, but I figured that another entry about how my life sucks right now is in order.

Last night, after realizing that my lease ends in three months which means that I'd have to start looking pretty effing soon for a new place even though I don't have the money for a security deposit or the job security to rationalize signing a year-long lease, I had a massive panic / freak-out session with Kristin about the usual issues: money, job, grad school, and a little thing called "Am I moving home to Virginia when my lease ends?" Right now, it's not looking good.

So after getting off the phone and finally calming down, I started watching the second-half of the Gilmore Girls DVD I received in the mail yesterday. When I get depressed, I watch it and am thankful I'm not Rory, 'cause she sucks. Hard. Seriously, why does she suck so much? And why am I always asking questions like this about fictional characters on WB shows? I need a real hobby. Anyway.

So the disc is scratched, and stops playing right when Logan's family tells Rory that she sucks (at least I'm not the only one who thinks so). So I turn it off because I was too impatient to clean the disc, and started getting ready for bed. After changing, I found my iPod and plugged it into my computer so it would be fully charged and ready for a fun eight hours of work.

And then my computer shut off and now it won't come back on.

Of course, the feelings of panic and depression quickly turned into rage as I held my thumb on the power button, repeating, "TURN ON YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I HATE YOU YOU FUCKING CUNT BALLS COMPUTER AOSJDL;ASJFLK ;AM SFL;KWJEORIJ SEOFI;JAS." When I gave up and walked outside to cool off and stomp and pace on the front porch, I finally calmed down, came inside, and went to bed.

The computer thing really pisses me off, since its whole "I don't really feel like charging right now," spell fixed itself randomly yesterday morning. I would much rather it just lose its charge on occasion because it still kind of worked, albeit briefly. Now, however, it is no good to me. And the only thing I can think is, "Am I going to lose my five thousand songs and twelve hundred pictures? Oh! How about everything I've written since college, as well all of my best academic papers that I uploaded from my computer at home? Where are they now?"

And I have no patience with computer support services. If Apple is so great and accessible, then whythefuck do they have a "Help" section on their SUPPORT PAGE? Shouldn't the SUPPORT PAGE be easy enough to navigate without explanation? Is that too much to ask? Oh, and here's an idea: Do you think you could post the Apple Support phone number on the main page so I don't have to spend fifteen minutes searching for it? I mean, that's fifteen minutes that I could be spending on hold. Thanks, Apple.

God, I miss my Dell. At least that eight-hundred-pound piece of shit would turn back on when I wanted it to.

So there you go: add "computer" to my palette o' problems. Now I have to deal with eight hours of clerical bullshit before I can finally make it home, drink my three remaining Red Stripes (left over from when I got accidentally drunk last Thursday evening, which is another story for another day), and have a nice chat with Apple.


Lisa said...

Do you have to move? If you stayed in your current apartment couldn't you bypass the whole needing a down payment issue? (My least favorite part of moving.)

I have a Dell now. I hate it - the "P" button has stopped working, which means I will soon be in the market for a new computer. Hopefully a Mac. But your stories scare me.

monocerdo said...

Oh, Tyler, for lack of a more eloquent way of putting things, that really, really sucks. I would be in a total state of Ultimate Panic right now, so I think--all things considered--you're handling this with great aplomb. At least it's small so if you have to take it into the Apple store, it will be easy to carry.

That said, three Macs in our department have died recently and they are not old. We were able to recover the files, but it's convinced me to stay the PC course.

Anyway, I'm sorry about the state of things.