Monday, April 24, 2006

You're the only friend I've got, Blog!!!

Dear Blog,

Let me tell you about my weekend!

On Friday night Lindsay and I went to a dinner-party hosted by a guy who I only sort-of knew over the internet, but since he seemed not-psychotic and went to William and Mary (so smart and not-psychotic), I thought it couldn't be too bad of a place to make new friends. I did meet some potential friends - I just hope my being unnecessarily drunk on cheap (but Chilean) Merlot didn't ruin my chances.

[Sidenote: I've been pretty good about not binge-drinking lately. Ever since the night I got drunk at Julia's cocktail party and passed out / threw up on the coat-bed, I took it considerably easy. But seriously, meeting a lot of strangers requires some wine. That's a fact. Look it up on Encarta. If you don't live in 1998, look it up on Wikipedia. I promise it's there.]

[Another sidenote: Why do I always get drunk and stranded on the far-west side of Chicago and sit on the side of the road for a long time waiting for a cab? I should put some taxi numbers in my phone. Notetoself.]

On Saturday Julia and her Northwestern audiology friend Renee invited me to see My Morning Jacket (!) and The New Pornographers (!!) perform on campus for fifteen bucks (!!!). We went, and it was hot hot hot (it was in a gym, for Christ's sake). Stephen Malkmus opened (I'd use a couple of exclamation points if I gave a shit about Stephen Malkmus) and, as always, I was standing next to the opening act's BIGGEST FANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!1111111ohmygodi'mgoingtopeemypantsbecauseiloveyousomuch. This kid (loudly) yelled, "I LOVE YOU STEVE!" Then he turned to his friend and (loudly) told her, "I WANT YOU TO CALL ME THIS WEEK SO WE CAN GET TOGETHER AND I CAN BURN YOU ALL OF PAVEMENTS ALBUMS AND IT'LL BE THE GREATEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE." THEN this kid started (loudly) saying, "MAN, WHY DOESN'T THIS CROWD SUCK SO MUCH?!" I wanted to (loudly) respond with, "BECAUSE WE'RE STANDING HERE IN A SWELTERING GYM WATCHING SOME DUDE PLAY SOLO ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND ONLY HALF OF US KNOW WHO HE IS." But I didn't. Because I'm too nice.

Anyway, after he finished his set, I patiently awaited for the New Pornographers to come onstage. And they did, and I thought, "Hey, I wonder of AC Newman's niece will be with them again this time." She was Neko Case's stand-in on their tour with Belle & Sebastian, and I assumed since Neko was fresh off her tour, the Newman niece would still be with the band. And then I saw a mass of red hair jump on stage, and I lost my shit. Neko. Fucking. Case. And man, when she belted out "Mass Romantic," I thought I was going to die. But then two assholes behind me decided to start a mosh pit. To the New Pornographers. Because that makes a whole lot of sense.

After the Pornos, Julia and Renee went to sit down, and I stood up front waiting (during the thirty-minute sound check, I'd like to add) for My Morning Jacket. And I came to the conclusion that I really hate people my age. Especially people my age at concerts. I was surrounded by a hundred of them and I had to listen to them converse about things such as naming off their dream My Morning Jacket set-lists and how Neko Case's solo work sucks because it's "too country". And the worst part was that I was alone and couldn't make fun of them with anyone else.

[Sidenote: I know that the people behind me who were naming off songs they'd like to hear shouldn't bother me, and I feel like an ass that I found them annoying. But to the girl in front of me who complained about Neko Case: well, you're just an idiot and you have no idea what you're talking about.]

The worst part was when the group of indie-tastic nerds to my right began singing Sufjan Stevens. I mean, SERIOUSLY. Why. WHY? WHY MUST I SUFFER THROUGH THINGS LIKE THIS?! I'm not a better person for it. I'm only more bitter.

My Morning Jacket finally came on, and they were amazing. They kicked ass. Unfortunately, Julia and Renee had to leave, and my stuff was in their car, but I wasn't very disappointed because I had a lot of fun up to that point, and I think if I had stood there for three more songs I would have gotten to that point where I just get bored with standing and want to hear something else. It always happens - at every show. So I ended the evening on a high note.

So there you go, Blog. That was my exciting weekend. I'm sorry you missed out! I'll invite you next time.



meg said...

oh tyler, i miss you. i'm going to email you later. first i have to edit my little sister's merlin paper and i may actually get a little chemistry read too. but an email is forthcoming!

btw, must get more neko from you.

monocerdo said...

Wait. I thought you said you MADE OUT with Neko Case. Also? You forgot to mention your three minute drunk-dial to your favorite 27-year-old friend.

Tyler said...

Did I say that I made out with Neko Case? I'm sorry, I meant to say I DID NOT make out with Neko Case. Common mistake.

Kelly said...

do I still have to be called the little sister?

regardless, I'm mega jealous that you even got to hear a girl with them. All Meg and I got was AC Newman bleeding over his guitar and stalling with lame jokes.

i heart dorks said...

These w&m kids weren't into improv, were they?