1. No matter what, I will always get the first sunburn of the year the week before I plan to get a haircut, which will leave me a with a stupid line on my forehead where my hair swoops across it.
2. Don't buy beer at the Market Place on Diversey. You will pay twenty dollars for a twelve pack of Corona.
3. Look at the case of beer before you buy it, because you might be buying Corona Light, which isn't very good.
4. If you drink enough Corona Light, you start to enjoy it. It's real smooth.
5. It's impossible to eat six saltines in a minute. Trust me, and these pictures of Katy, Christina, Mel, and myself attempting this feat:
Still skeptical? Here's a video of what happened when Jason tried it. You're welcome, Internet.