My phone stopped working last night, which is great timing. The weekends are totally the best time to not have a phone, especially when last weekend I spent my days alone, reading at coffee shops because I had no one to make plans with.
I talked to my mother several times last night on AIM and on Christina's phone as we tried to settle the tricky business of buying me a new phone. Now, I don't particularly think it's very difficult to just get a phone, especially since I emailed her two weeks ago with the phone I'd like. Unfortunately, my mother thinks getting a free phone is kind of like buying a computer. She called and asked if I had checked the "specs" and they looked okay. She asked me this in 2007. Of course I didn't check the specs. I saw that it makes and receives calls, which my phone currently does not. It seems okay to me!!
Then she called and said, "Did you know this isn't a flip phone?" "Really?? I COULDN'T TELL. THANKS FOR CHECKING THAT FOR ME."
THEN she called again and said, "This phone doesn't have an antenna."
My mother is a SCIENTIST. She programs computers. Yet she lives in a world where AT&T would sell their customers phones that "don't have antennas."
She also decided that it was a great night to berate me for texting too much. It's very ironic that I can only communicate through text messages now, and my new phone won't come for another five days. What can you do?
ANYWAY, moving on. I'm exhausted this morning because I didn't get a lot of sleep and had crazy dreams which may be the result of watching the 1985 TV miniseries version of Alice in Wonderland, which I current have from Netflix. I'm tired, and I got to work an hour late, and I just want to go home and nap / die, but I can't because we have a shitload of work to do. And then I have a shitload of things to do this weekend. Tonight I'm going to see Stomp the Yard for free in Grant Park (drunk, natch) with Couch, which will most likely be awesome. And it's gay pride weekend, which means I'll be weaving through throngs of eight-foot-tall drag queens and armies of assless chaps on Sunday since the parade conveniently passes within a block from my house. I guess I'm going to go because, as Adam said earlier this week, you rarely get a chance to get drunk in the street. And I also decided that it'll be fun to see how many free condoms I can get. It's like when I was in college I'd see how many Gideon Bibles I could pick up in a day. It's a fun game. Really.
And I'll tell you what I'm definitely not doing this weekend: going to see Angelina Jolie's black-face movie. Fuck Jolie. I find it deliciously ironic, by the way, that she's going to star as Dagney Taggart in Atlas Shrugged. She's perfect for the role, and her political beliefs are the antithesis of Ayn Rand's, which proves that she's a goddamn retard.