2. Katherine "It's pronounced 'Hi-ghel'" Heigl sassed everyone in America.
3. The cast of Jersey Boys effectively gayed-up The Sopranos. Somewhere in Trenton, at least five housewives cried tears of joy into their Turning Leaf pinots.
4. Elaine Stritch was as old and nuts as she could have possibly been. Someone needs to give that lady her own sitcom.
5. The producers of this year's Emmys should have announced it as the Tony Bennett show at seven o'clock and called it a fucking night.
6. Seriously, fuck Al Gore. Fuck him. Al Gore does not deserve a goddamn standing ovation for winning an Emmy in a category that was made up just to give him another consolation prize for losing to The Idiot seven years ago. And, by the way, I'm so glad I deleted Tom from my MySpace friends.
7. Thank you, Robert Duvall, for becoming America's crazy, overwrought grandfather.
8. I can't decide which female cast member of Grey's Anatomy I hate more:
9. Dear FOX: If Sally Field wants to say "goddamn" on the air, you LET HER. She's a national treasure and she's got something to say.
10. Does anyone else think that making the Asian guy from Heroes introduce the Internets segment was slightly racist?