Monday, November 05, 2007

Zelda Rubinstein: The Most Popular Girl

I made some friends watch Poltergeist III with me yesterday, a feat I accomplished by pointing out that it takes place in Chicago in the John Hancock building. Also, it used to scare the shit out of me when I was little, and even though I knew it was bad, I had forgotten how bad. And it's basically an hour and a half of people screaming, "Carol Anne!" To wit:

But God bless Zelda Rubinstein, right guys?

Which brings me to the real reason behind this post: the great cinematic achievement that is Teen Witch.

I remember seeing Teen Witch on HBO a lot when I was little, and kind of like The Babysitters Club TV show, it was the type of thing that was always on and I never actually sought out to watch, yet I was somehow fascinated regardless. Maybe I liked it because it was about a nerdy teen who won over her classmates with magic instead of actually being cool. You know, kind of like Carrie, but without murder.

The star of Teen Witch is Robyn Lively, who is kind of like the poor man's Jenny Lewis.

Did you notice how her loser best friend is the poor man's Sara Gilbert? And, if you noticed, that scene has an oddly placed rap song. Well, remember 1989? White people rapped back then - even homely, Jewish Darlene Connor:

OMG, you guys, couldn't you totally see those guys together? Also, those dudes are so Blue States Lose! It's nice to finally discover where today's hipsters get their fashion cues.

Like any great teen movie from the '80s, there's an awesome prom sequence. Cue the taffeta!

On second thought, Robyn Lively is a poor man's Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn:

Zelda Rubinstein, who played Tangina Barrons (which regrettably does not sound like "Vagina Barrons") in the Poltergeist films, plays the teen witch's mentor, naturally. Sadly, the online community has not embraced Ms. Rubinstein with the same passion. Someone get that lady a YouTube channel!

Oh, Zelda. You can deliver me from the astral plane anytime.

Bonus Video!!! A Teen Witch fan vid!


Anonymous said...

ahhhh...the movies from my youth. i felt exactly the same way that you do about those movies, although i do not plan on re-watching poltergeist III as the old man in the hat really frightened me as a child.

but as for teen witch? i came across it not too long ago on abcfamily or something and i was mesmerized. again. there is something strange about that movie that can just suck you in.

my sister and i even quote it on a regular basis. strange quotes like, "i took the liberty of ironing your homework," or, "top that, stop that. i don't really give a -pause- about tryin' to top that." hmmm...

and now i digress. but...i want to be the most popular girl.

Brittany said...

OMG, this post! I spazz out about Teen Witch all of the time. That movie pretty much defines my in, I watched way too much television and have an unhealthy appetite for pop culture. What always confused me about Teen Witch is that it felt like a musical, but it wasn't. There were a lot of original songs but it was just supposed to be a random teen movie with an occasional sing along/ rap along. I don't know, I still love that mess.

And a reference to the Babysitter's Club TV show? Hahaha.

lkbom said...

Really, any red-headed teen queen from that period is the poor man's Jenny Lewis. Even Molly Ringwald.... snap!!

Also, I think we should have a rap-off soon. Because I'm way too funky for my own good.

Mr. Shain said...

is it possible we're twins separated at birth? or both just victims of the 80's?