Thursday, February 22, 2007

I'm expecting a lot more gin and tonics in the second half of 2007.

I know I said I wasn't going to blog about work, but today I found out that we get annual raises in July.

I'm expecting thirty seven cents an hour.

That's a three-percent raise. Go at it, you math geniuses.


Ben said...

$769 per year!

At $5 per gin & tonic, that's about 154 drinks per year without tip, or 3 extra drinks per week. If you go out twice weekly, that's like walking into the bar and getting a .03 blood alcohol level at the door.

Ben said...

In other words:

That's enough gin to kill a man 6 times over.

That's enough gin to operate a motor vehicle at 38 times the legal limit.

If gin were used instead of water at most urinals, you could flush nearly three times. If you factored in the tonic, you could stand there and flush for about a half-hour.

You could take a shower in gin for about 45 seconds, or shower in gin & tonic for about five minutes.

You could drink one gin & tonic every ten minutes for 25 hours.

Tyler said...

Ben, I need your job. Clearly you have a lot of extra time on your hands.

Laurie said...

umm...count me in for a gin and tonic shower. maybe we can arrange that when i visit chicago this summer?

my annual raise was something like 4%. it comes out to an extra $900 a year. since getting that raise, i have not taken a gin and tonic shower nor have i been killed even one time, let alone six! tyler, i pray that you do not waste your raise the way I apparently have.

p.s. on an unrelated subject, i somehow got talked into going to bonnaroo this summer. wanna come? it will kinda make up for macrock, but be...i dunno, dirter? maybe, but not really. def. more ecstasy though. c'mon!

sorry, i should have just emailed you.

morgan said...

wow i really am appreciating your new post labels.