Monday, February 25, 2008

Complaining about the Oscars is the new "I'm moving to Canada."

Hey, you know what, Internet? Stop complaining about the Oscars. First, you bitch about the lack of an Oscars because of the Writer's Strike. Then you whine about how the Oscars will suck. And then you spend four hours watching the Oscars and live-blogging them and then spend several more hours the day after complaining about how they sucked. And - this is slightly unrelated - can I remind you, Internet, that you fucking lost your shit over Juno two months ago, and now the stripper's little screenplay is as annoying as she is?

I hope that we'll eventually mature as a mid- to late-twentysomething set of people who realize that we don't have to keep getting our hopes up five minutes before the opening monologue. The Oscars are the same as they ever were. They've always had pointless montages celebrating fabulous things in the history of cinem. There have always been at least one Broadwayish musical number (one might forget that in the '90s, during Disney's most productive years, there were several Oscar ceremonies featuring multiple songs from single films). Hell, there used to be interpretive dance sequences to the nominated scores, so can't we all just calm the eff down and realize that, okay, interviewing past winners about how they felt to waltz up on stage is actually better than watching movement set to the theme from The Thin Red Line?

Or, you know, you could all get real jobs that didn't involve getting paid to write about shit you watch on TV.


BG5000 said...

This is the best thing you've ever written. You're finally using your powers of bitching for good.

lkbom said...

I was pretty pleased with the results, overall.

And I did not blog about them.