Hey, remember back in October when I was so unemployed that that I went to a job interview in some guy’s condo and could have potentially been killed?! Oh, how hilarious that would have been! Only I figured it out just before knocking on the door (“Heeeey…this doesn’t look like an office building!”).
Laurie moved back home in November, which was depressing and scary, considering I was on the verge of doing the same thing. But before we got all sad and boo-boo bears about it, we got to interview potential roommates (and I got to reflect on why I’m so terrified of living with strangers).
In December, I found out that my best friend in high school, Fuckchill Fuckstin, didn’t invite me to his graduation party. I took it pretty well, don’t you think? Also, I started temping and, to celebrate, I got really, really drunk at my temp agency’s holiday party. Classy!
In January, I got a job working at Urban Outfitters and had a great time waking up at four in the morning and driving out to Schaumburg to count overpriced t-shirts. Oh, and the people were great, too.
I started working full-time in February, and one of my managers made a very important discovery.
Everyone knows that March 17th is St. Patrick’s Day, and this year I looked back on some of my less sophisticated holiday celebrations.
In April, I was pleased to finally acknowledge that I am mature enough to go to the bathroom when necessarily, instead of waiting until the last minute as I’ve done, well, many times. Also, Christina and I started a band.
In May, I realized that I really need to get out of this mining town and make a name for myself, but my anger management issues are keeping me from fully realizing my potential.
I was a big boy and went to a concert all by myself in June, and I realized that it’s not so scary after all. You just might meet an adorable young mother from rural Indiana and have a grand old time!
I recognized I have a variety of psychological problems in July, one of which is excessive paranoia.
In August, Nicole and I went to an Irish pub in Wrigleyville to see some really, really great bands. I also had the sexiest bus ride ever.
Finally, in September, I discovered I had an irrational fear of haircuts. Luckily my new stylist, Drev, helped me get over that.
And there you have it: a whole year of me being bored enough to publish crap online. I promise I won’t do another flashback entry for at least another year. Or until after Blog Sweeps Week.