Monday, May 22, 2006

Dear Camera Obscura,


I've only seen girls who can't play instruments or sing or write music look this stupid. They are the girls I see at shows looking twee as fuck with their stupid hair and matronly skirts, or I see them at parties huddled in the corner of the porch with a cigarette in one hand as they are clutching themselves because they're freezing even though it's really hot because it's a PARTY and there are a bunch of people around and it makes me want to scream, "LOOK. Stop being Little Miss Coke-head for a minute and get a symmetrical haircut!" They're all shorter than five feet and wear their mothers' old sweaters. They aren't actually talented enough like you girls to put out an ALBUM that my friend recommended to me that I won't be able to even ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD now because I'll just think of how STUPID YOU LOOK ON YOUR ALBUM COVER.

You on the right left? (YOU MADE ME SO MAD THAT I FORGOT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND LEFT.) Why are you wearing my grandmother's eyeglasses from 1967? (I wish this wasn't true, but my grandmother probably still had those glasses in 1987. But that's OK because she's my GRANDMOTHER.) AND STOP CLUTCHING THAT BEAR. You are an adult. Let's be grownups and stop playing dress up.

And girl on the left right? I hate you and your camera. Who the hell do you think you are? The Gwen Stefani of chamber pop? IT'S NOT COOL.

AURGH. So much for being nice this week. See what you do to me, Camera Obscura?


meg(an) said...

did you know that they are somewhere in between my second and third favorite band? they kind of go back and forth with kings of convenience.

did you also know that it's 5:51 in the morning and i can't sleep because i smoked a pack, yes tyler, a pack of cigarettes yesterday for no very special reason except i was, as we had discussed earlier in the day, very very drunk?

so for half an hour i've been laying in bed worrying about how my lungs are going to feel in about two hours and about how five rum and cokes and two beers really doesn't constitute dinner and i'm starving and now you're making fun of camera obscura for dressing poorly, which, admittedly, they do, but come on, should kings of convenience really get away with just because they're ridiculously hot norwegian men? or are they swedish? i can't remember.

and i STILL haven't heard back about you know what.

i need to get my own blog.
(i was going to insert another word into the previous sentence, but i worry that your mother will see it, and i don't want to offend her, particularly after she was such a big help to me the other day.

my lungs, my lungs!

Tyler said...


1. This comment shows why you probably shouldn't have a blog. There'll be nights like this and you'd end up writing eight crazy posts and then delete them in the morning, praying that your co-workers didn't happen to Google you while you slept.

2. Kings of Convenience is probably the most boring band ever. I think they are Norwegian, which is no excuse for their poor fashion choices, nor does it excuse them for being so effing boring. I mean, look at Lordi. Norwegians can rawk, too.

Steve said...

Come on, that cover might be trying a little too hard, but that's a good album.