Monday, August 20, 2007

I call you out, Jimmy Johns!

If you're not from Chicago, you probably don't know about Jimmy Johns, which is a chain of sandwich shops like Subway but it doesn't smell as bad and they deliver. Also, they apparently have commercials with an Asian announcer which is kind of pointless and racist-question-mark? (But still, it beats Jared, who is still overweight and the reason is because HE STILL EATS AT SUBWAY.)

Or perhaps you've heard of Jimmy John's because you were unfortunate to catch an episode or two of My Boys on TBS, which is the "Chicago sitcom," and also the reason why I'll never think Jim Gaffigan is funny. Because the show isn't actually filmed in Chicago, it relies on inserting Chicago landmarks into the dialogue. The actors overcompensate this, and here's an example (emphasis not mine): "Hey, why don't we hop over to JIMMY JOHN'S for a bite to eat before the game at WRIGLEY FIELD. Then we can meet up with the guys over at KINGSTON MINES!" Also, the show is about a girl who is a sportswriter. Is that even allowed?

Anyway, I started going to Jimmy John's because I found out that you could get a "slim" sandwich for about three dollars, meaning that I didn't have to pay five bucks for just turkey on my bread. And with a drink and chips, my lunch would be cheaper than McDonald's, which makes SENSE because all I'm getting is TURKEY ON A PLAIN ROLL.

Thennnn JJ's tried to sneak one by me and raised the prices on everything on the menu. Suddenly I was not saving money because my lunch began to cost six dollars and sixty six cents. (Perhaps the symbolism of that number is lost on Mr. John's.) I figured this was because they switched from the normal paper cups for drinks to big, dumb, plastic cups (you know, the kind you pay extra money for at Taco Bell because it ties in with the Godzilla movie), as if I was going to elated to have a complimentary souvenir from Jimmy John's #48. Instead, my reaction to this was, "Well, I guess it'll be McDonald's for lunch everyday again. Welcome back, indigestion!" Today, however, I wasn't very hungry so I decided to run by Jimmy John's. What did I find? Not only was my combo still $6.66 (that's to help out those of you who are more visual readers - get it now? JJ's is the ANTI-CHRIST), but it did not come with a big plastic cup. Instead, they gave me a smaller, paper cup. I paid more money for less Coke and four slices of turkey on a plain roll.

I hate you, Jimmy John's.

I should have taken more than one package of Grey Poupon.


Katy said...

I think Jimmy John's is gross anyway.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Couple things:
I heard that Jared was a big porno freak in college and had a huge library of porno tapes. If you wanted to watch porn, Jared was your guy.

Second, you are spot-on about the whole My Boys thing. I too saw that episode where they talked on and on about Jimmy Johns. I've decided I hate hate that show.

Anonymous said...

Tyler Tyler Tyler...

It's not 666, its 616.


-Your now adult brother

joshua said...

Jimmy John's is actually a complete rip off of a Minnesota Sandwich shop called Big Mike's (which sadly was run out of business by JJ, even though they were better). The rumor is Big Mike was Jimmy John's uncle, but that might just be rumor = )

Cristina said...

They have Jimmy Johns in the Detroit area now. One opened up down the street and I decided I would never eat there since they have the stupidest sign on the window: "Free Smells" Seriously, WTF? Free Smells? I decided they didn't deserve my money.

Martha said...

Jimmy Johns is actually everywhere. We had two in Blacksburg and I know of at least one in Charlottesville.

Jenny said...

Don’t miss “My Boys” this Monday, August 27! This episode is hands-down the funniest one yet and you’ll be kicking yourself if you miss it! As you know, since Brendan was selected as one of Chicago’s Hottest Bachelor’s, he’s turned into a complete jerk. In an effort to save him, PJ and the guys have a “douchebag intervention.” VERY FUNNY! “My Boys” is every Monday at 10/9c on TBS.

Anonymous said...

Okay, a couple things. The plastic cups you speak of, they are a promotional thing they do once every year near the spring/summer. They LOOK like a different size, but they are withing an ounce of each other's volume. Secondly, Yeah prices went up. so did gas and everything else jack ass. It costs businesses more to purchase their produce, so its only a matter of time before you pay 30 more cents and get to bitch about it on the internet. Jimmy Johns is not a "Chicago" thing. They are in NC, UT, IN, CO, TX, and CA (for starters). Oh, and $6.66? yeah, thats because you pay IL tax. go to a different franchise, or a different corporate store in another state and the price is different because of tax. Jimmy John's isnt ANTI-Christ, they are ANTI-Customers like you. If you would rather eat fucking mcdonalds, go right ahead. Jimmy doesnt give a shit.