Monday, January 16, 2006

We are desperate, lonely, and underpaid.

Kristin moved out today. I helped her and Dan carry boxes and boxes and bags and bags and furniture into and out of a U-Haul. I'm exhausted and I'm going to be sore tomorrow (although slightly pleased that I can carry heavy things).

We went to Schaumberg today to go to Ikea. What a shithole that place is. I did get a few things I needed for the kitchen that were pretty cheap, as well as some cinnamon buns. Mmm.

When we were packing up the U-Haul, I couldn't help but think that I may have to do this again in February if I can't find a real job and start paying rent. I've been even more stressed/depressed about the idea of not finding a job and having to move home to Montross. And I hate that I'm worried about that - I hate that I am still depending on my parents to pay my rent and shit. It's been five and a half months and there should be absolutely no reason I can't get a job. There's also no reason for me to keep calling Lakeshore Staffing and leaving messages on voicemails every day and not get anything in return. Four months of this; it's a little frustrating. Also, the other temp agency that got me work before Christmas now seems to have forsaken me, as well. Aggh.

My mother keeps telling me, "It's not personal, it's business." (Thanks, Michael Corleone.) I can understand that, but I can't help but getting upset and wondering what's wrong with me. My resume isn't horrible. My cover letters aren't bad. I can't believe that after all this time and all the letters and applications I've sent out that it's just the luck of the draw and I'm less qualified than everyone else for every job I apply for. It doesn't make sense to me. I really don't care what job I have, I just want one that will pay me enough and employ me full-time. I just want to stay here. I want to make money and earn a living. I want to be able to rationalize the last four years I spent in college. I know I wasn't a computer science major or a marketing major, but I'm pretty damn intelligent and capable of learning new things and completing tasks. There's a part of me that takes pride in my work accomplishments even if I mostly hate the work I'm doing.

Please, Chicago. Cut a kid some slack. Throw me a bone.

I should quit complaining, because I know I could have it much worse. I could be unemployed and living in Schaumberg. Yuck!


Anonymous said...

I have poison oak all over my face.



Anonymous said...

Chin up Tyler. Chin. Up. Real jobs are highly overrated except for the making rent part. I envy your Unemployed in Chicago adventures, and wish I'd chosen that route many times. I did that "someone hire me, someone love me," thing for six months... yeah, it sucks ASS. I am sure you will find something soon. Hey, you could be a mystery shopper or a telemarketer in Schaumberg! Ewwwwww... Someone who takes such great myspace self portraits should not be unemployed for much longer! - Melanie.

David said...

1. What's so bad about IKEA? I'm curious to know what your particular quibbles are.

2. English Major? Have you tried the writing/editing section of CL? The pay's not great, but it's gainful employment. Heck, freelancing pays the rent. And getting paid to write is better than not getting paid to write, yes?

Tyler said...

It wasn't so much Ikea as it was just Schaumberg in general - I should have made that more clear. I actually like Ikea, but I get pretty sick of it after wandering through the store for over an hour.